100% Distilled Quirk

"Peak Me"

2006-01-18T00:19:00.000-08:00

I think I passed "Peak Me" today. Today was the day I really began to consciously realize that when I feel the pang of "oh I didn't need to say that," it went from something I guiltily felt like I ought not do, to something I did not want to do. I no longer felt disobedient to a standard (which is, granted, true and appropriate to feel), but I felt like "hey, what the hell, that's not who I want to be." The specific context was several mildly crass remarks at a couple of movies tonight with the esteemed gentlemen Steve and Ben. It's quite remarkable, really, to feel such a thing. Not only do I know better, I want better. My regret was not just violation of a Holy Ought, but a Personal Want.

Now, I know there is good argument, and I do fully agree with it in fact, that the Holy Ought ought to be enough to compell me to change. Yet a simple "thou shalt not" has not been enough to deter my coarse humoring. It has only been today -- earlier tonight, really -- that I have begun to be so entranced by the beauty of the character of Jesus that I can't help but want to be deeply more like Him in thought and deed. I no longer compare myself to a legal standard of Holy Ought, but compare myself to the person we who follow Jesus are destined to be: a "Little Christ", a Holy Is, the person that God sees us as already, and the person I am so eager to become.

It is as if God has been wooing me the whole time, building toward the peak realization that I really do want to be like Him. What a momentous thing!

:)

Saturnalia of Simulacra, or, How I Learned To Start Worrying and Hate the Map

2006-01-02T09:54:00.000-08:00

My new jeans are really quite peculiar. They have been thoroughly sand-blasted, implying that I have given them much good and hardy use. They have also been sandpapered for a similar effect. And perhaps most curiously, they were torn in many places -- some tears the size of two fingers, others only small snags. All of this is what we would expect from someone who gets in a lot of adventures, or is okay with letting their clothing get torn and worn. Just as scars on a man's skin might imply harder times in his past -- perhaps from hard labor, outdooring, or fights -- these pants also imply that we are macho men. My pants tell others that I have been a rebel, a ruffian, or at least someone not afraid to get dirty.

Yet clearly I am not too much of any of these things. My skin has suffered few scars, and nearly all of what's there is from childhood playing (tug-of-war, bicycle-riding, et cetera). I, like most men with similar upbringings, am quite intact and clean. I have the mildest of calluses on my palms from the past two years of gardening and urban farming, and my feet are a bit rougher because I enjoy going barefoot in warmer climes. But other than that, I really am quite unmarked.

Yet I wear these pants that say I'm more adventurous than that. What irony! Funnier still to me is my beloved mother's concern for my older khakis that I have had from high school. They are all still quite wearable and fit me well enough. But from hundreds of hours of wear back in my days on litter crew at the Oregon Zoo, they are quite used. Snags around the cuffs, the occassional small stain or blemish. Why do I need to replace these pants, if their replacers are going to come pre-cut and pre-stained?! I have earned these stripes, and so I certainly don't need to give any money to Levi Strauss to do that for me.

This all points to one of my favorite postmodern critiques of our times -- we are unable to differentiate between the map and the territory. We have become so enamoured with the artificial and the fabricated that we have lost sight of the original 'real.' Jean Baudrillard calls this the "precession of simulacra" and "the desert of the real" -- a phrase you might recall from The Matrix.

With my professionaly ripped-up pants, I am letting people confuse the map (well-worn pants) for the real (pristine skin). I've not really earned those pants -- I've not gotten into the bar-fights, motorcycle accidents, chases, or other misadventures which would create such blemishes. I am, summarily, not that person. Yet when we see people wearing them, that is the image that is implicitly conveyed. Wearing these Bad-Ass pants does not make me a Bad-Ass any more than wearing a trucker hat makes one a trucker.

This issue was most brought home to me on Sunday, when my mother and I drove through Geneva, Illinois. Geneva is an old farming town which is being swallowed up by suburban sprawl. By some means or another, it has managed to have a vibrant downtown which is maybe 25 blocks in all. It looks like the idyllic American small-town Main Street. Gourmet bakeries, ice cream parlors, well-maintained sidewalks, and beautiful storefronts. It all looks quite healthy.

For a moment, I will admit, I thought this was what we'd been missing and losing in America. "See, Mom, why can't we have more of this? This is so gone, so lost; how did they manage to keep or save it here?!" She told me it is a tourist town, where rich people like to come and shop. Indeed, I noticed everyone there were very clean white people. And so I had to look past this map, this simulacra, of a healthy community and local economy. It really is anything but.

If you mean that a health economy is one in which money is being made, then it certainly seems that Geneva is quite healthy.

But if you mean that a healthy economy is a local people mutually interconnected, trading locally-grown things, and generally tending to local people, then Geneva's well-designed building facades are a deceitful sham. These stors were selling goods produced hundreds if not thousands of miles away, baking wheat and rye grown in another state, brewing coffee grown on another continent, and serving food with no nativity to Geneva or its county or state whatsoever! Geneva just became a particularly attractive focus point in the economics of empire. Food and goods from all over the world were shipped to Geneva's downtown, where they were sold to people who drove several miles to get there. The people that made the stuff have no investment in Geneva, and the people that bought it have no investment there either, except that it is still able to provide their Cheese-Puffs and Doodle-wacks in a pleasant and safe and white place.

Geneva, then, is really not a place at all, nor does it have any health of its own. It is only a context for artificiality. It is a map that calls itself a territory.

Bad-Ass Jeans and Geneva, Illinois -- paradigms of my postmodern angst! Everything feels and is fake.

2005 -- what a year!

2005-12-31T23:52:00.000-08:00

This year was packed. It contained my final months in community in Eugene. These months were surreal and splendid. The incredible feeling of knowing that you won't be able to live with this family for much longer, that Jesus has called you elsewhere. It made every moment sweeter, every prompting more somehow easy to act on. Major obstacles were overcome in those months, friendships healed, and God magnified and manifested. And then I moved to Portland, made good friends, started seminary, and got a rad job. Here are just some of the highlights.

My 21st birthday brewing beer and eating sushi with many friends and then drinking a beer with the Montanan Stud.

A brief whirlwind romance with a beautiful girl.

Accidentally getting drunk at the Horse Brass -- after being accepted to seminary.

Crying on my knees with close friends.

So many homebrewing sessions with the truest friend I've ever had, and all the cool people that stopped by to comment on the freaky smells of it all.

Being homeless in Seattle with a beloved brother.

A long-overdue haircut.

Canoeing for a gardening experiment on an island in the Willamette with Avi

Hours writing a thesis in a library, trying desperately to capture what it means to be relevant.

Eating more garden-fresh lettuce than should ever be eaten.

Farting with Nathan.

Baptizing a brilliant, astonishing, unexpected brother and close friend.

Moving. Crying. More crying. Oh fuck, so much crying.

Being new in a city that felt like an old friend.

Realizing that I moved only five blocks away from an incredible friend.

Learing the Bible from intellectual and spiritual giants.

Hearing Tony the Beat Poet fart in the bathroom.

Paul Hewson and, separately, Paul McCartney -- both live in concert.

Getting precisely the job I wanted after graduating from college.

Meeting more cool people than I ever thought existed.

Getting a gubernatorial candidate to buy me a beer in exchange for talking to him for 20 minutes about peak oil.

Cultivating the sacred-art of front-porching with a new family in Portland.

Crying with the new family.

Vacationing with my real (and increasingly amazing) family in Chicago.

Realizing that few things in life ever approach perfection.

Knowing more than ever that God is very active, very loving, and very very weird.

Merry Day-After-Christmas

2005-12-26T15:45:00.000-08:00

In recent years, I have had diminishing opinions of Christmas. The materialism, consumerism, and general bullshit hysteria of it has really repulsed me. You can imagine my train of thought -- this is the kind of stuff that's destroying our spiritual vitality, going to make peak oil more painful, it is destroying the earth and poor people, etc. Suffice to say, I really really hate industrial, capitalism-spurring Christmas.

This year, my unquenchable wrath against all the absurdity has not diminished. Not an iota. However, an interesting positive parallel has emerged alongside it. You see, in past years I have even diminished why we are celebrating Christmas -- Jesus was born -- so what? What matters was the cross and resurrection. And yes, those events are theologically more significant. However, this contrast should not diminish the wonder and splendor of the humble beginning of Christ's first advent.

That God would become man is nothing short of revolutionary. It affirms that matter is, contrary to the persistent heresy of dualism, not evil. The Holy Lord would not incarnate in something evil. Moreover, it affirms that God loves creation. He loves all of the cosmos, all of the earth, and all humans. He loved it so much that he would endure hurt and discomfort and emotional & physical pain and all that. He was proactive.

His advent was, just as some historians note D-Day as being the turning point toward the end of World War II, the cosmic turning point in which his Kingdom is bleeding through, the Night is rolling back, and the Dawn of His reign is breaking over this planet's sin-sutured hills. The mundanity of it which I had been scoffing about Christ's birth was precisely the point. God's plan was shrouded in mystery, even as it was unfolding! I was reading in Luke today about how excited people were getting when Jesus was entering Jerusalem -- they were expecting Him to inaugurate His kingdome, kick Rome's ass, and set up His throne. And on Calvary Hill, Jesus did all three of those. But looking at the bloodied mess of it all, that's the last thing we'd expect!

So I guess that's what I've experienced with Christmas this year. It's mundane, and nowadays even drenched in the sins of greed, pride, lust, and gluttony. But it is beautiful, revolutionary, and yet, to the ignorant foolish eye, not.

Ain't God neat?

Cows are better off than half the world

2005-12-17T08:31:00.000-08:00

You know you live in an upside-down world when...

For half the world's population the brutal reality is this: you'd be better off as a cow. The average European cow receives $2.20 (£1.40) a day from the taxpayer in subsidies and other aid. Meanwhile, 2.8 billion people in developing countries around the world live on less than $2 a day.

Moral of the story? If you think animal rights activists and environmentalists value animals more than humans, you haven't met the industrial world!

1000 days of war in Iraq

2005-12-13T14:04:00.000-08:00

Here's the count:

$204.4 billion: The cost to the U.S of the war so far.

2,339: Allied troops killed

15,955: US troops wounded in action

98: U.K troops killed

30,000 : Estimated Iraqi civilian deaths

0: Number of WMDs found

66: Journalists killed in Iraq.

63: Journalists killed during Vietnam war

8: per cent of Iraqi children suffering acute malnutrition

53,470: Iraqi insurgents killed

67: per cent Iraqis who feel less secure because of occupation

$343: Average monthly salary for an Iraqi soldier. Average monthly salary for an American soldier in Iraq: $4,160.75

5: foreign civilians kidnapped per month

47: per cent Iraqis who never have enough electricity

20: casualties per month from unexploded mines

25-40: per cent Estimated unemployment rate, Nov 2005

251: Foreigners kidnapped

70: per cent of Iraqi's whose sewage system rarely works

183,000: British and American troops are still in action in Iraq.

13,000: from other nations

90: Daily attacks by insurgents in Nov '05. In Jun '03: 8

60-80: per cent Iraqis who are "strongly opposed" to presence of coalition troops

Greatest Post-Carbon Google Toy Ever

2005-12-08T23:24:00.000-08:00

A date which will live in infamy...

2005-12-08T22:11:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, December 7th, 2005 -- a date which will live in infamy -- the Congress of the United States of America suprisingly and seriously held their first full-scale Congressional hearing on Peak Oil and Gas. The bi-partisan House Peak Oil Caucus spoke to the bipartisan group, along with internationally recognized authorities on the issue for two and a half hours.

The conclusions of those testimonies were that whenever the date of peak in production is, we must begin to make radical and strong shifts in our national life to prepare for this very real, very big crisis.

The facts of yesterday speak for themselves.

Yet the people of the United States have already formed their opinions and they do not well understand the implication to the very life and safety of our nation.

Don't get your hopes up, just because these big boys have started talking about it. The CIA has been talking about Peak Oil since 1977, and the State Department issued a report concerning it in 1982. They know about Peak Oil and its consequences, have seen it all coming, and have a plan for it: W A R.

If any action comes out of the US Congress, expect advocacy for drilling in Alaska, investment in nuclear plants, and coal-gasification plans, and (in the near future) even more openly enforcing the Carter Doctrine to control the world's remaining oil reserves.

As many have said already, all meaningful, conscienable action in preparation and response to peak oil and gas will be local. Don't expect anyone beyond the metro-regional level of government to do much on an issue this ugly. As far as most politicos seem to feel, better to let the ship hit the iceberg head on than yell "shit!" and ruin everyone's party. It could, after all, cost them votes.

Still, these hearnings are even more proof that this issue is real and cannot afford to be ignored. Alas, though, if it took an act of CONgress to convince you of this!

Prepare now.

Freakin' girls

2005-12-03T17:40:00.000-08:00

I am not prone to mood swings except regarding gals. Seriously: politics stuff, church stuff, stress, roommate issues -- none of these things dip me below a certain "floor" of melancholiness. I am thankful for and have some self-esteem rooted in my being emotionally balanced and levelheaded. Maybe it's just being a guy -- not letting one's self get cranky, panicked, grumpy, or depressed without serious provocation. Whatever it is, I feel good about generally feeling good.

But I get so emotionally exhausted when it comes to pursuing women. Honestly. What is it in me that makes me become so belligerently anxious and sad when I hit the slightest obstacle? Sometimes I'm sure it's just the perception of obstacles, no less!

Enter irony: when I consider things, I believe I have grown in my proficience around women since I moved to Portland. I am marginally more "aggressive" and feel more confident in myself. Yet I still can't handle my emotions when one appears to retreat. And I struggle with knowing if they are playing hard to get, or if they are politely not interested. Now, these specific frustrations is with a couple gals these days, and I sure as shit don't know what to do. One is notoriously bad at returning phone calls (but legitimatly values our friendship), and the other is, well, I dunno. She's the one I can't figure out. So nice, and we have great talks over the occasional pint, but argh, it's hard to tell whether she's "hard-to-get" or politely uninterested. Frustrating as hell, especially coming from women who really are as stellar and wonderful as these two (seemingly) are.

The mixed messages of warm talks and times on the one hand, and apparent inabilities to be proactive in the friendship (ok the first gal is kinda proactive) really sucks.

I suppose those details are all really marginal things. The heart of this all is that I am so emotionally spastic on these issues. It'd be one thing if I were actually dating the gals, but I'm not at all! They're both friends that have crushes on. This all leaves me with a bullfrog in my chest and a pinch in my belly, and the anxiety of an addict in my head. Loneliness rolls in like an avalanche in spring, and all I can think of doing is sitting in my underwear and robe, listening to Johnny Cash's "The Man Comes Around" album.

Fuuuuuuudge.

I am learning to realize that the wrong question to ask is "why does God put these things into my life" and that a better one might be "given this, what shall I do?" and "how can I learn from this?" Dang obvious questions, but I'm not sure of the answer.

Argh... I still want to be wanted. Whenever I try to figure out the loneliness thing, that's the core of it. Look at what I've been talking about: the direction of interest in these women is from me to them, not (as far as I can tell) from them to me. As far as I can remember, I still haven't met a Christian woman that expressed reciprocal interest in me. It's always me crushing on girls, and them never crushing back. Even with Amber ten months ago, she wasn't interested in me until I made my emotions known to her.

I know you all in Eugene might be tempted to affirm me by saying how much you miss me and so on, and those thoughts are always appreciated and believe me, treasured. And to be sure, I miss my Eugene family like an amputee misses their lost limb. But it's not the same as what I'm talking about here... I need to know that I am desirable by a woman. I'm not talking about physical attraction, or that I am desirable as a friend. I am saying that I want to be the subject of a crush. I want someone to actively want to be with/around me.

God-freakin'-dangit I need to figure all this out.

How I'm doin'

2005-11-30T15:34:00.000-08:00

Sorry it's been so long since I've really posted much here. I'm okay, but incredibly busy! Peter has asked me to begin seriously compiling some things for Restoring Eden's first newsletter (if you haven't signed up yet, head over to our website). I'm also insanely busy with schoolwork -- a couple shorter papers due in the next week or two, and a massive commentary on Ephesians 3:1-13 is due on December 16. That one's supposed to be 15-30 pages single-spaced, not counting appendices! It's okay, though -- for as much work asi it is, I am really enjoying and getting a lot out of it! Plus, today I got my Romans paper back with the highest of compliments on it, so I'm feeling pumped to keep charging through!

After my classes finish on D16, my friend Katie Welna from Bozeman is in town for the U2 concert, and then I'm off to see my beloved family outside of Chicago from D20 to J4. Very excited for it all!

Then J6-8 I am attending the Bus Project's "Engage Oregon: Rebooting Democracy" conference, which should be a very exciting time for me to represent progressive evangelicism (and maybe a side of peak oil, if it is suitable). J8 is my 22nd, and then classes resume that following Friday. I'll be taking only ten credits, as I will start working closer to 20 hours a week in January! I'm very excited to both have less homework and more time to spend working with RE to change the world! ;)

I'll leave you all today with a particularly interesting article about what bartering was like in WW2 occupied France. Really interesting read, just for history's sake, but then also I think pretty instructive for what to expect should we have a pretty serious petrocollapse in the next few years. Particularly interesting:

City-dwellers who lacked obliging friends or relatives in the country set out at weekends on expeditions, returning with meat or sacks of produce slung over their shoulders. Such forays became so regular a custom that the train services from Paris were nicknamed after vegetables.

Happy Thanksgiving 2005! and Happy Day of Peak Oil!

2005-11-24T07:28:00.000-08:00

Turn, turn, turn...

2005-11-21T16:29:00.000-08:00

I love the change of the seasons. Every season is beautiful in its own way, and every transition is, too. These days, we're at the brink of winter -- only a few leaves leftclinging to the trees. Some species seem hardier than others, and some are protected according to the lay of the surrounding houses and wind; but their day will come, too.

Today, it is hauntingly clear in the sky. Not a cloud. Even in July and August there's little whirls of them here and there. Today: none. And yet it's cold -- damn cold! The wind chill has to put us near or below freezing. It's a confusing thing today: the sky looks like summer, the air feels like winter, and the trees look it.

But there's a beautiful truth I learned a couple summers ago, front porchin' with Avi Crombie. And it is this: our lives are like the seasonal cycles of a tree. We have full and radiant seasons of beauty and fun; we have summers. The slightest wind makes a shimmering sweet sigh through our branches. And we have winters, as well, where we feel barren and stale. The stiff gales scratch our branches together uncomfortably, and our swaying is less graceful.

Yet the transition from summer to winter is great, in and of itself. All those colors, each tree doing so according to the time ordained by the Lord. Gorgeous and tragic and good. Yet there is hope already, for those leaves will break down in the soil by the tree, to go back into it and nourish it for the next summer. The death of those leaves ultimately make the tree stronger. And sometimes the leaves are blown under other trees, to make them grow stronger as well. Still at other times, unfortunately, we don't like the sight of all that decomposing stuff, and we haul it away. We defer the mess, but in doing so, we inhibit the fullness of growth from that season.

There is also the final hope for spring. How excited we each get as the flowers brave the frost and dazzle the branches above and creep between the grass blades below! The sun comes out more, the rain comes generously to nourish and revitalize the scabby winter'd earth, and things begin to pulse again. Those leaves lost in the fall are back in the roots and branches of the trees, making new growth all the more splendrous and bright. And we can all look forward to that joyous time of year, right now, when things seem their stalest.

So it is, of course, in our lives. We get great seasons, cold ones, and phases in between. Sometimes the dying seasons (fall) feel bitter, yet we must learn from the real seasons that they are bittersweet. We mustn't defer the mess of those times, because without them, the spring will be less grand. Whatever seasons we most love and most dislike, they all are ultimately used by God in our lives for the enrichment of the next. And so, like the trees, we become bigger and grander and more elegant as the seasons wear on.

As a final twist to all of this, today I was looking out my window, much as I always do, when I realized something -- now with all those leaves gone, I can finally see what's beyond those trees! In their barrenness, I can see beyond; I can see the sky.

Glorious!

The Great Dictator

2005-11-20T13:40:00.000-08:00

Buckin' A, man

2005-11-17T23:42:00.000-08:00

My friend Matt says it is not dishonorable to, while bow-hunting, kill a buck or elk while it is fornicating with a doe. Now, this seems to defy the foundational rule of dude-ship -- if you must commit violence against another dude, do not do it while he's doing it. It's just against the rules. Am I wrong here?! He says, especially with bow hunting, if you have your shot, take it. And in any other circumstance, I'd say heck yeah. But seriously: killing a buck in the middle of a fu-- ehh, intimate moment -- is not cool.

Am I a bleeding-heart in my convictions on the first rules of dudeship? Or is this not the most dishonorable thing ever?

Happy Exploding Whale Day!

2005-11-13T14:29:00.000-08:00

2005-11-08T19:36:00.000-08:00

Alright, I'm finally convinced that I need to read Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Life Together. I just read a quote from it that blew my mind. I share it with you now.

"The most direct way to others is always through prayer to Christ"

Fun with cosmic drama

2005-11-08T17:05:00.000-08:00

From John McRay's "Paul: His Life and Teaching"...

Augustine developed the mousetrap theory, arguing that God tricked Satan by using Jesus as the bait. When Satan came to take the bait, the mousetrap caught him. A bargain was made by which Jesus said to Satan, "I will trade my life for the world." Satan agreed to this, thinking it would be worth surrendering the world just to get rid of Christ. But there was a catch. Satan thought he would destroy Christ, but he was caught in a trap by the resurrection. Others explain it as a fishook that God offered to Satan with the death of Christ as the bait. Satan took the bait, not knowing there was a hook in it -- the resurrection.

God is a rad storyteller, no?

Wake up, dead man

2005-11-06T00:03:00.000-08:00

I need to lay my burdens down. It is beyond insane to think I can continue carrying them. It is so concieted of me to think that God wants me to keep some of them, that He's only interested in a few of the burdens. He wants all of them -- because He loves me!

I am too not whole without more of Him. I am too fucked up without His love.

It is so sobering to reflect (almost at a distance) on what my heart is really like, as it would be without what Jesus has done. It is sobering to realize how many scars I have ripped open to let him in to fill up and heal, and how pitted and putrid I would be without His healing. So much of my heart used to be scar tissue, but now He's made it even better than before!

Meanwhile, can I learn from those incredible experiences and life seasons, to trust Him more with the things before me now?

My mind says "sure, of course."

My sense of identity says "Do you really think He will change it all for you? Get real."

My heart says "I am so tired -- who cares -- ugh."

My Lord says "Trust me: I love you."

2005-10-31T16:57:00.000-08:00

"The fatherhood of God necessarily demands the brotherhood of humanity." -- John McRay, Paul: His Life and Teaching

Immaturity complex

2005-10-30T15:47:00.000-08:00

In January, I will be 22.

I might be the only one in all of history to say this, but being so young is driving me crazy. Since moving to Portland in August, the good men at the T-House have begun to plug me in to their social network of dozens of Christian single twenty-somethings. And it's been awesome!! So many fun cool people. And quite apropos, I have found myself casually interested in a few women that are all in the 23-27 age range. None have yet advanced from casual aquaintance to lets-hang-out friends, but I have this awful neurosis that I am too young to be in a serious relationship (much less casually date!) with these marginally older women. I realize that really, past 21, age is just a number. Notwithstanding, it's frustrating; there are a few things about me that I think are contributing to this.

First, I feel less mature just by my posture in life still as a student, while most of these women are well into their professional lives by now. Meanwhile "homework" is still a regular part of my vocabulary!

Second, the mobility limitations of my bicycle lifestyle can be a source of frustration. "Sorry, I can only hang out within four miles of where I live." Granted I've never said those words, but that limitation is still there. If I were more mobile (had a car), my range would open up tremendously. This also affects what dating looks like -- I can't really do that "pick you up at 8" thing on a bicycle! To boot, I think there is a stigma that says bicycling is childish and trite, or that it is a naive political show directed more at making a point than improving the world.

To clarify on that point, I am not grumbling about this choice of mine. I would never violate my conscience on this matter, to find a woman. Ever. I gladly choose this. My point then is that it is a contributing factor of this dilemma I have of frustration over my age relative to others.

I really don't like being the kid. It stinks. I feel like many of the women might be accustomed to guys who are more socially adept at winning the attention of women. And so Brandon the Inadept fades behind the smokescreen personas of more charismatic men. I have that lingering fear that my accursed, involuntary "superpower" of invisibility did not stay in Eugene.

And yet I know that the woman I will eventually be with will not care about whether I have a car or not. I wouldn't want someone who is frustrated by that anyway. (and hey: peak oil will level the playing field like crazy for me!!) I know that Father God has someone, and that I am not even in a place in life where I could date someone (January, though...). And as stated early on, there is no dearth of amazing women; I can think of a half-dozen acquaintances I have made in the past week or two that I would be elated to see progress to friendship. So, this post is not be being worried about finding her, so much as it is me being emotionally frustrated by the context in which I will find her.

Peak Oil notes from head of Oregon Dept of Energy

2005-10-27T14:46:00.000-07:00

Part of why gasoline prices have subsided somewhat is due to Bush releasing a bunch of gasoline out of the SPR. But if he did that a month and a half ago, wouldn't we expect to have already seen those effects arrive back then? No; there is a lag time. We didn't see declines in prices until the past two weeks. This delay has to do with how long it takes to refine the stuff and shove it through pipelines to distro centers. It takes quite a while. And here is how that helped make a dent in the price of gasoline: the government sells it at $20 per barrel (currently trading at $60ish, was closer to $65-70 in September and much of October). So this is an artificial, temporary drop in the price of gasoline which, as I've been saying, only lasts as long as that 20M barrel infusion lasts.

Next interesting thing is that after Katrina, Saudi Arabia finally did follow through on their pledge to produce more oil -- marginally. They produced an extra 150,000 barrels of it per day (a moderate bump). BUT it was all heavy sour crude oil. That's the stuff you start to get after a well passes peak. It's also not very marketable. Nobody bought it. Why? There isn't any extra capacity in refineries that are able to refine heavy sour. The world is at maximum refining capacity. The limits of refining functioned as a bottleneck on delivery to consumers. Why inadequate refineries? Energy industries haven't built any for several years, apparently because they do not anticipate future growth in oil production.

Final notes are about peak natural gas, which we seem as a continent to have passed in 2001. NG, as many of you know, accounts for 24.5 percent of American energy usage, 56% of America's heating use, and 17% of America's electricity use. It is also extensively used for ammonium nitrate fertilizers -- the most common fertilizer used, and which sloughs down the Mississippi and has left a dead zone in the gulf of Mexico the size of New Jersey -- and on a smaller scale is needed to extract petroleum from tar sands and oil shale.

So, it's clear we're dependent on NG enough, right? Get this: Natural gas wells have a depletion rate of 28%. That, friends, is terrifyingly fast. When we're freaking out about peak oil, that depletion rate is 3-9% annually, and that is enough to scare me. A 28% depletion rate on the resource which allows the world to stay warm and fed chills me to the bone.

Rosa Parks, RIP

2005-10-24T22:12:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: Debt relief and Peak Oil -- Cui bono?

2005-10-24T10:01:00.000-07:00

The only remaining areas of the world yet to be fully developed for oil production is precisely where in June 2005 the World Bank, the G8, and the International Monetary Fund agreed to cancel the debt of some massively indebted countries. They furthermore agreed to cancel debts conditionally to a few others granted that they make serious political, economic, and social reforms.

Most of these countries are in western Africa.

In June I posited that something seemed fishy. As wonderful as it is that they cancelled the debt, I couldn't figure out why these otherwise greedy powerbrokers would be so generous all of a sudden? Surely Bono couldn't have been that compelling? I'd like to think so, but the leaders of these institutions are not exactly charitable men.

Well lo and behold: a letter from an energy extraction insider to Financial Sense Newshour online indicates that indeed the only thing barring development of oil infrastructure in western Africa is political, economic, and social instability. This underscores my thesis: that geopolitics today are defined overwhelmingly by oil in anticipation of oil production peaking. Indeed the behaviour of the West, particularly the United States, can be characterized as that of a junkie in need of a cheap fix.

The reading of the letter can be found online in RealPlayer format here.

The Climate Mash!

2005-10-23T20:34:00.000-07:00

Dance! EVERYBODY DANCE!

Killer Coke

2005-10-23T18:45:00.000-07:00

From their site:

Dear Brothers and Sisters:

We need your help to stop a gruesome cycle of murders, kidnappings and torture of SINALTRAINAL (National Union of Food Industry Workers) union leaders and organizers involved in daily life-and-death struggles at Coca-Cola bottling plants in Colombia.

In July 2001, the United Steelworkers of America and the International Labor Rights Fund (www.laborrights.org) filed a lawsuit on behalf of SINALTRAINAL, several of its members and the estate of Isidro Gil, one of its murdered officers. The lawsuit and campaign aim to force Coca-Cola to prevent further bloodshed and to provide safe working conditions.

Coca-Cola bottlers “contracted with or otherwise directed paramilitary security forces that utilize extreme violence and murdered, tortured, unlawfully detained or otherwise silenced trade union leaders,” the lawsuit states. It also notes that Colombian troops connected with the paramilitaries have trained at the U.S. Army’s School of the Americas (SOA) at Fort Benning, Ga., where trainees were encouraged to torture and murder those who do “union organizing and recruiting;” pass out “propaganda in favor of workers;” and “sympathize with demonstrators or strikes.” This was made public when the Pentagon was forced to reveal the contents of training manuals used at the school. (For more information, see www.soaw.org, the website of SOA Watch.) The year that the lawsuit was filed, The Coca-Cola Co. made $4 billion in profits and paid its CEO, Douglas Daft, more than $105 million. Coca-Cola continues to rake in billions each year, yet the frightening conditions at the Coke plants remain unchanged. Labor unions and human rights advocates in the United States can stop these atrocities at Coca-Cola’s bottling plants.

Please read the enclosed exposés. The Campaign to Stop Killer Coke will move the fight to the doorsteps and into the boardrooms of Coca-Cola and its key financial ally, SunTrust Banks. As long as SunTrust, “the bank of Killer Coke,” maintains its intimate ties to Coke through board interlocks, large stock holdings and credit relationships, SunTrust, along with Coca-Cola, will be a principal target of this campaign. We ask you to take part in this most important struggle. Any contribution you can make to the campaign will serve as a critical building block and act of solidarity to help end one of the ugliest chapters in labor history. Please make a financial contribution, participate in protest activities and mail in the coupon below. By working together, we can protect our sisters and brothers and restrain corporations like SunTrust and Coke that behave so immorally and irresponsibly. Any support you give will be greatly appreciated and acknowledged.

In solidarity,

Javier Correa, President, Sinaltrainal
William Mendoza, President of SINALTRAINAL, Barrancabermeja.
Ray Rogers, Director, Campaign to Stop Killer Coke

Wow!

2005-10-23T14:19:00.000-07:00

I had no idea, but Anne Rice of "Interview with the Vampire" fame got right with God in the past couple years. Crazy! And now she's writing a series of books from Jesus' perspective, the first one being when he's seven years old.

And in reading about that, I learned that Bob Dylan got born again in the late 1970's. What the heck! God's cool, and now Dylan's even cooler. :)

A love for things that grow

2005-10-21T20:47:00.000-07:00

These days, there's no dirt under my fingernails. God knows why, but that really makes me sad.

I miss gardening. I miss the first duty of the morning as going outside, sleep boogers still clogging peripheral vision, to make sure everything endured the night safely as I slowly bring the watering hose from bed to bed. Elevating and carefully propping every tomato limb onto its trellis. Weeding. Seeing what seedlings came up while I was asleep, or at class, or church, or really any time I was away, was always such a treat.

Oh yay, three new beans have sprouted.

Ooh, one has already grabbed the trellis!

Wow, that tomato went red overnight.

Darn it peppers, why won't you fruit!

Uh-oh, time to harvest a head of broccoli -- quick, who wants a couple pounds of it?

And that's all to say nothing of the simple joy of only walking outside to get one's lunch. God -- I miss all that lettuce. We complained about it after a couple weeks of nonstop lettuce. But dammit all: I miss that delicious green stuff!

I think I'm beginning to understand what parenthood is like. To care for something with jealous, eager love. To tend and to treat and to guard after. For all those times I've said I would be okay with not having children, it is experiences like these which beg for refrain.

*refrain granted*

Agriculture facing its own Katrina

2005-10-21T12:04:00.000-07:00

Agriculture today is facing a major catastrophe not experienced since the Dust Bowl days of the Great Depression. Based on expert economic projections, for the first time in decades, many U.S. farmers cannot possibly "cash flow" a crop or crops for the year 2006. Bankers are saying "No." Many of us will not be able to farm this year or the next. The doubling and tripling of fuel and petrochemical prices are the last link in a chain of bad economic events.

Shit!

CommonDreams: What's the Difference Between a Liberal and a Progressive?

2005-10-19T13:22:00.000-07:00

From the article:

It seems to me that traditional "liberals" in our current parlance are those who focus on using taxpayer money to help better society. A "progressive" are those who focus on using government power to make large institutions play by a set of rules.

Agreed, and I suppose that's why I consider myself a progressive but not really a liberal. Part of my reason for believing that the centralized powers of corporations must be reigned in also applies to another big institution: the government itself. I generally don't have faith in large institutions to play fairly. Governments at all levels can be hijacked by ideologues and madmen, and so can corproations. Moreover, both seem to attract those who most eagerly desire power. By power I mean variously prestige (pride), capital (greed), social influence (arrogance), and the basic idea that they can figure out on any issue how best to structure society (hubris).

Both tend to become threats to democracy and freedom without due rigor of an educated citizenry.

Thus, corporate leadership and (if I can still make this distinction) state leadership should neither be trusted, and both be held accountable to the common good and the will of local people.

Measure 37 ruled unconstitutional

2005-10-15T16:40:00.000-07:00

Woo!

Measure 37 was passed last November, and is widely regarded as gutting Oregon's land-use laws. Thus, it's also been known variously as the Take Oregon Out Of Oregon Act, the Turn Oregon Into California Act, and the F*ck Oregon Act.

In somewhat more coolheaded terms, Measure 37 sought to destroy one of the hallmarks of Oregon public achievement. That's why, compared to the rest of America, there is less sprawl and more farmland still being farmed. It's why so many of us can use our bicycles to get around, and why growing up, I could literally throw a frisbee from my house in the suburbs into an alfalfa field or a filbert orchard. It's why Portland is recognized as the most livable big city in America. Measure 37 tried to change that, but thank God for this news.

Peak Oil slant: It is crucial that we protect our hinterlands and salvage every cubic foot of arable land that we can near all urban areas. Our food security depends on it. As oil depletion hits home and the 10,000-mile Caesar salad and the 1500-mile carrot become things of the past, we'll find ourselves intensively growing veggies and cereal grains very close to our homes for cheaper. Indeed, the most affordable food a few years after peak will be that food which traveled least. Thus, Measure 37 was in a very real way us digging our own graves by trading food security and a valuable piece of God-created land for a big-box retailer and a McMansion.

2005-10-13T23:20:00.000-07:00

"When the shit hits the fans, there's nobody I'd rather be with than you guys." -- cop saying

Bush Teleconference With Soldiers Staged

2005-10-13T23:11:00.000-07:00

It was billed as a conversation with U.S. troops, but the questions President Bush asked on a teleconference call Thursday were choreographed to match his goals for the war in Iraq and Saturday's vote on a new Iraqi constitution.

...

Paul Rieckhoff, director of the New York-based Operation Truth, an advocacy group for U.S. veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan, denounced the event as a "carefully scripted publicity stunt." Five of the 10 U.S. troops involved were officers, he said.

"If he wants the real opinions of the troops, he can't do it in a nationally televised teleconference," Rieckhoff said. "He needs to be talking to the boots on the ground and that's not a bunch of captains."

Wait: am I supposed to be surprised by this?

OK, cool. Hope none of you are, either.

The pint glass is half-full, and coincidentally, so are world oil reserves!

2005-10-12T23:13:00.000-07:00

Well, I talked about peak oil to two guys from seminary, and Matt from the T-House, tonight at the Horse Brass. They all seemed to generally get how gnarly it will get... explaining overpopulation ideas wasn't easy for any of us, but the overall trend of the collapse of this arrogant and gluttonous country didn't break any of their hearts. Which, honestly, made it a bit easier to talk about.

Then again, it's just as hard to talk about it when people are almost "cheer"-ing their pint glasses to it. Don't get me wrong, I won't shed too many tears for it as far as PO sobering America up after it's binge on power and oil and money. We've got this one coming. Be sure of that. But there is going to be some lasting gnashing of teethe over this one, and I daily struggle not to let my frustration with the American Dream let me relish over peak oil.

Furthermore, I am starting to worry just as much for the cynics and progressives that talk about peak oil who so cheekily about the justice which peak oil will wreak upon the rich nations, as I am about the so-called "optimists" that think the market and technology will save us from oil depletion. The progressives embrace reality almost to a fault, while the "optimists" are in total frickin' denial of it.

But I suppose at the end of the day, I'd take the former over the latter. Reality is way better than denial.

Peak-oil -ish movie!!

2005-10-12T15:47:00.000-07:00

Holy crap, this movie looks insanely good. Watch the trailer. Seriously. This winter, provided I can afford it, I'm going to see two movies: Narnia and this one.

*giddy*

Important blog post by James Kunstler

2005-10-10T15:27:00.000-07:00

Important blog post by James Kunstler

2005-10-10T15:22:00.000-07:00

A great fact-filled, very understandable post with some frank commentary at the end of it by acclaimed geographer James H Kunstler.

For the moment, it's back to business-as-usual for Easy-motoring Nation.
Yet 73 percent of oil from the Gulf of Mexico remains "shut in" or unavailable because of hurricane damage, and about 63 percent of natural gas production. Prior to the hurricanes, 24 percent of the nation's non-imported supply of crude came from the gulf. There are also eight refineries still shut down representing 2.1 million barrels a day of refined product capacity (900,000 barrels a day of gasoline, 500,000 of diesel and heating fuel, and 200,000 of jet fuel).
...What's happening, therefore is that we have entered an eerie hiatus. Some band-aids have been applied to our oil and natural gas supply injuries and the bleeding seems to have stopped. But the truth is that our energy supplies are badly compromised and at the worst time of the year -- just as we slide into the home heating season. Here in the northeast, we have barely had to turn on the furnaces yet, but that will change in a week or two.

Eating disorders and proper etiquette at the Father's table

2005-10-10T14:40:00.000-07:00

What an exhausting, if fulfilling week it has been!

For a while, I'd felt askew, amiss, like an important bone in my spiritual frame was dislocated. It's that general feeling one gets, I think, when the Spirit is gently nudging on something and we shrug it off as indigestion. It's that feeling of God having said "fine do it your way, and I'll let you see what happens." Thus, I resolved to make two changes in my life that I'd felt God nudging on, but wasn't acting on either of them.

First, I've resolved to be more aggressive in my seminary reading. I'm supposed to read 2500 pages this term, roughly 170 a week, and it's not just "ought to" reading -- it's "your-grade-will-be-cut-if-you-don't" reading. So, almost out of the fear of lowered grades I started catching up on reading, and suddenly something started feeling more right in life. More centered. I believe it was God's way of saying "I asked you to come to seminary. This isn't another series of institutional or societal hoops you are obligated to jump through. This reading and work is something I have asked you to do, and something I want to bless you through and with."

Essentially I was sidelining the obligations of following Him. I'd accepted the invitation to dinner, but didn't eat the main course. Despite the fact that it's a full meal, all this homework, I've found it to be amazingly nourishing.

Second change: I'm no longer tracking peak oil news with my morning breakfast. I'd become so addicted to reading the news and commentary that it was how I was starting my mornings. No wonder the past few weeks had felt so humdrum and even depressing. The first thing I was feeding my mind every morning was "the S hitting the F," as Ryan says, instead of what I was doing in Eugene: drinking in God's Word. When I was doing the latter, I generally was able to weather the doom-n-gloom of peak oil later in the day quite well. But starting with peak oil in the morning, it'd become an idol, an addiction, one which was never very nourishing. It's like having black coffee on an empty stomach for breakfast -- your nerves are edgy and your mind is ajar for much of the day. But having that same cup later in the day or at least with a nourishing meal makes it much better for your mind and body.

And so there it is: my spiritual breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Coffee and reading the news -- both are fine and good, but niether is healthy on its own.

A third lesson this week is that food metaphors are awesome, but now I'm hungry!

GREAT explanation of the housing bubble

2005-10-06T22:29:00.000-07:00

Click the link above to get a very good 5- to 10-minutes explanation of the danger of the housing bubble, how it is made, what it affects, and why it might be popping.

HIGHLY recommended.

A screwball spin on the real poopstorm ahead...

2005-10-05T13:02:00.000-07:00

I'm posting this with much trepidation. I'm not sure if I should. But it clicks with something I've been chewing on quietly for some time now. It's a few interesting, if eccentric coincidences/convergences.

I will also preface this with the caveat that I do not subscribe to dispensationalism, nor am I particularly persuaded (indeed I am offended by) the End-Times craze. Still, my eschatology (study of end times) is far from erudite, and in keeping with the generous orthodoxy I strive to practice, I will assuredly keep my own views of the second coming in an open hand. At the very least, supposing the tribulation is actually biblical (I know for many of you, it is), then I'll let you know upfront that I would be characterized as "post-trib." That is, I effectively do not believe in the Rapture. Yes a lot of poop will go down in the years preceding Christ's return, but I just don't buy into the "we've figured out how it will all go down" bullcrap. (a good article on why is here)

Still, I will write this if it will help persuade any of my readers who are partial to "end times" stuff that peak oil is as serious as I'm trying to convey. If you don't buy into "end times" stuff, please disregard this as cheeseball peak-oil proselytizing to my dispensationalist brothers and sisters. ;)

Can you sense my hesitance in posting this? I don't like talking about this stuff. But here I go.

I've wondered if the poopstorm ahead of us is what Christ talked about in, among othe r places, the latter chapters of Matthew. That is, will peak oil be what manifests the dark times which Christ said would characterized the world just prior to his second coming? Famine, wars & rumors thereof, unrest -- what JC talked about sure fits the Peak Oil itenirary. That's the first piece of this wry conjecture.

Second piece: the Mayan calendar ends on December 21st, 2012. Seven years from now. According to the End-Timers, the tribulation is seven years long. (again, I am neither compelled nor in denial of the likelihood of the seven-year-tribulation stuff -- just stating it as part of this conjecture for those readers who do believe in it). So, supposing the Mayans were right, we'd have the Trib starting this winter. Read my most recent blog posts to see why I and other peakniks believe we could ( > 50% chance) be facing serious economic depression starting this winter. [I'm giving an air of credibility to the Mayans because among all the world's cultures, they had an incredible amount of historical paralells to Judaism & Christianity: a creation date 40 years apart from the Bible's, a global/local flood, a messiah figure around the AD/BC switch in their capital city, etc. Who knows, since God reveals himself to every culture at some basic level, I won't be surprised if they are at least in the general ballpark.]

Third and final piece: just found an odd but interesting article in which these folks count the years carefully in the Bible to somehow have concluded that something big would happen in 1967 (Israel restored, kinda), and 2005. It is the website's conclusion that it is the beginning of the collapse of Revelation's "Babylon." They wisely connect this to the likely peaking of global oil production between now and 2007.

Again, I hope this doesn't weird out many of you. It's just something I thought some might enjoy. As I try to elucidate this map of how the world is working, hopefully this angle will help some of you. I am not persuaded fully by this "end-times" spin, but it seemed worth sharing.

Gas crisis' worst hit cities

2005-10-05T08:55:00.000-07:00

SNIP:

In Atlanta and Nashville, which also made our list of the 10 hardest-hit cities, a household might have to spend an extra $2,300 on gasoline this year.

One final "holy crap" addendum for the evening

2005-10-04T15:56:00.000-07:00

Bush wants the right to use the military in case the bird flu breaks out. Does this scare the crap out of anyone else?!

Don't let their claims that this would be for the bird flu confuse anyone. It is too convenient a reason to also deploy the military domestically to mitigate civil unrest as petro-collapse becomes more and more apparent. As people begin to exodus out of desert places like the Southwest in the coming years, the powers-that-be have a solution, and it's martial law.

Yay fascism. *sigh* Not.

~~~~~~~~

"So this is how democracy dies: to thundrous applause." -- Padme, in Star Wars 3

Wait, hold the horses, that is insane.

2005-10-04T15:54:00.000-07:00

It takes 2500 gallons of gasoline to make one mid-sized hybrid. Between mining all the ore, etc, that's quite understandable!

Lesson: don't think hybrids will get us anywhere. Sheesh.

As I was saying...

2005-10-04T15:28:00.000-07:00

Last I saw, CNN.com's online poll question: "Have you cut back on spending for other necessities because of high gas prices?" has a 68% "Yes" answer. Not good news for anyone who's in the business of manufacturing or producing frivolous crap. Eventually it could begin to affect even how much food we're buying...

Walkin' in a winter wasteland

2005-10-03T19:13:00.000-07:00

A lot of things have been coming together in the last few days. The poopfest that we're slouching into seems to be deeper and closer than us peakniks thought.

Consider the housing bubble: if that goes, so goes the American economy. So much of our banks' liquid assets are in housing loans, and the way the do business, as I understand it, is predicated on that continuing without deviance. And then there is the amount of jobs that are made by the continuing suburbanization of America's beautiful hinterlands: timber, construction workers, contractors, real estate, new malls and big-boxes for those people to mass at.

Declines in house sales, among other things, seems to be accelerating substantially. Perhaps the folks who were privvy to live on the fringes of cities, chose to do so originally on the condition that oil were cheap. Now those folks who this summer and fall were looking to buy houses out there, are reconsidering. Suddenly those 20-mile commutes are hitting their pockets. Add to the above link that Drudge is claiming that tomorrow's NYT front-page story will be that "Real estate slowdown that began in a handful of cities this summer has spread to almost every hot housing market in the country..." Our economy could go from slouching to sliding into the poopstorm.

Another big chunk of our economy rests on the strength of our automobile production sector. Enter: GM, Ford post lower US sales. September sales for GM fell 24 percent. Dang.

Add that in the past year alone, natural gas prices have increased threefold, and we're just at the start of fall, and that Katrina & Rita just wiped out an estimated 1/4th of our domestic natural gas production, and we're looking at a cold cold winter. Or at least one that doesn't have as much electricity or indoor heating as our way of life demands. Many forecasters anticipate another 33% hike in NG prices over the winter.

AND, as I said in my Katrina Clusterfudge posts, we're still gliding on a supplement of loaned oil from Europe and our SPR that is about to expire. Meanwhile only 2% of gulf oil production is currently operating. And finally consider that oil demand goes up globally and domestically starting around Thanksgiving. Yet we're looking at a shortfall between 2 and 6 million barrels per day globally. This spells skyrocketing gas prices by Christmas, which could only be staved for a later date by "demand destruction," vis-a-vis economic collapse, between now and then.

Buckle your seatbelts, restock your peak oil bunker, put on your sweaters, and ask God for a bearable winter. Cuz short of His intervention, I doubt it will be.

The anthem to peak oil

2005-09-30T23:19:00.000-07:00

Louis was playing his newly christened "anthem to peak oil" which is totally amazing. I highly recommend y'all track him down and hear what he has to sing. Most amusing and rad.

We don't need no water...

2005-09-27T06:59:00.000-07:00

I'm in my usual Tuesday sad spell. Our Monday Night Football parties always make me sad as hell, being around kind people that are so so invested emotionally and financially in this whole lifestyle, and me not having a way of saying anything about what's around the corner. It's like if you knew someone's house was about to burn down, but no one can prevent it. They can only start now in emotionally letting go of what they don't really need now... and preparing for what comes next. It's pretty damn hard to sit there while the fire kindles and they're lopping up the American dream, even fanning the flames. *sigh*

This is what I'm talking about

2005-09-26T08:16:00.000-07:00

Three articles today show what I'm trying to get across to you, my beloved readers, if different parts of this haven't clicked yet. I know they took a while for me to get 'em.

Fertilizer Costs Soar; Farmers Face Tough Decisions

Now with the disruption of natural gas extraction and processing in the Gulf of Mexico due to hurricane damage, anhydrous ammonia prices are pushing $450 to $500-plus per ton across the Midwest, according at a fertilizer industry representative. Prior to 2005, the largest spring price quote for anhydrous ammonia (dating back to 1960) was $399 per ton in April 2001, USDA reported.

"Natural gas has been called the forgotten fuel because so much attention is being placed on high gasoline prices," said Jean-Mari Peltier, president of the National Council for Farmer Cooperatives.

The growing cost of growing wheat

Nobody's called it a ``perfect storm,' yet.

But between rocketing costs for fuel and fertilizer, low prices for their crop, increased shipping surcharges and worries over whether this will be another dry winter, local wheat farmers say the future is looking pretty grim these days.

``I'm not sure anyone is aware of it, but energy prices are quickly making the continuation of wheat farming questionable unless something begins to change soon,' said Walla Walla County farmer Nat Webb.

Over a relatively short period of time, fuel prices have tripled and the cost of fertilizer has doubled, Webb and others said.

Utahns save on gas by getting to school on horseback

The New Monasticism

2005-09-25T22:46:00.000-07:00

A great article about the movement among 20-something evangelicals to live in intentional community, and what that is often looking like. Often it's a lot more extreme than the collegiate (but wonderful!) varieties of it I've experienced. Sounds awesome.

I'm suddenly feeling compelled to get some Seminarians together, find a shitty house that has low rent, and start one up next year! Ahh, whims that never go away -- are we to chalk these up under "nifty daydreams" or "God's leadings"? I often wish I knew. As St. Paul said, "...in the fullness of time."

:)

Smoke

2005-09-25T18:25:00.000-07:00

I realized last week what is so askew (to me) at Seminary. It's that nobody smokes. Whenever a class gets out or there's a ten minute break, nobody's standing alone in what Ethan calls "Smoker's Exile." In those moments of uneasy rest between lectures, with folks milling about, nobody is getting their fix of nicotine.

I can't stand it!!!

I think I've gotten socially addicted to that from hanging out with so many casual-to-chain smokers. OK, so basically that means the Firpos, Louis, and Nastia. But before that it was the Zoo -- my "office" was an area cut into a bamboo grove that had a few chairs in it, and it's where employees would smoke and talk crap. I loved it! Some (most) of my fondest memories were in my Bamboo Office talking with folks while they smoked their assorted forms of tobacco (cigars, cigarillos, cigarettes, self-roled). It was so nice. Folks are stessed out, they go over to where I'm sitting, we chat, they smoke: good times!

But now, at Seminary, it's against the conduct code to smoke. Besides we're all goody-two-shoes anyway, right? Right.

But goshdangit, someone there needs to start smoking or something, cuz I think I really am socially addicted. Good Lord.

Freakin' A, Ethan, look what you did to me!!! ;)

Armed dolphins on the loose!

2005-09-25T18:16:00.000-07:00

I don't believe it. The hurricanes actually loosed military attack dolphins that are somehow armed with frickin' toxic dart guns attached to their heads! They're allegedly trained to neutralize spies or terrorists. Holy crap, the government never runs out of weird ways to spend our money, does it? Sweet Moses.

Good news: big refineries appear minimally damaged

2005-09-24T13:54:00.000-07:00

I'm thrilled to report that none of those big refineries were seriously damaged. Granted, these are initial reports by the industry, but I'll hope they are accurate.

Still no word on the dozens of oil rigs offshore that were directly hit by Rita. At the very least we know that for a while we're down 1 million barrels per day of oil (America uses 20mb/d).

But we're not out of this yet. As stated after Katrina, Saudi Arabia has conceded they can't increase production rates any more. The world is very likely at peak production. We were hit pretty hard today, and sure it could've been worse. But don't let a false sense of security wash over the bigger picture of oil depletion. In a very real sense, we won't ever really "get out" of this one.

And for a more technical read I reccomend as always The Oil Drum. Great great coverage over there.

UPDATE: Rita's path of wrath and petroleum refining capacities

2005-09-23T07:43:00.000-07:00

It seems global climate change doesn't think much of 'em saying "Don't mess with Texas."

The pic at this link speaks for itself. It's worth noting that the eastern half of the storm is considerably worse than the western half, cuz of the direction it spins. So, stronger winds, bigger water surges. In the pic notice both the offshore rigs, and the onshore refineries.

FYI for those thinking about stockpiling a bit of food, WinCo has 20 pound bags of rice for 5 bucks. I know, I'm supposed to say we shouldn't go to the big evil big-box stores ever. They are part and parcel of what has us entrenched into this petro-addicted shitstorm. But when you're short on cash, unemployed, and wanting to prepare for tough times, ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Big-picture economic ethics go somewhat out the window in times like this, I fear.

Anyway, get some rice. It's delicious. :)

An urgent warning to my readers

2005-09-21T21:26:00.000-07:00

It looks like Rita really is going to knock out what's left of America's offshore oil drilling in the Gulf. These rigs span from Florida along the coast all the way to the southern tip of Texas. Most of that stuff is from eastern Louisiana to the end of Texas. Katrina wiped out a good chunk of the offshore rigs in the Louisiana segment of that field. What's left along Texas is now poised to be slammed by Hurricane Rita, which is now a category 5, the strongest designation we have for storms. Talk about a one-two punch.

Furthermore, those are the ports where most of our imports come from. What we get from the Persian Gulf and from Venezuela -- yup, they come overwhelmingly through Gulf of Mexico ports. Damage to these ports could delay considerably our imports of oil.

The scariest thing could be the damage to refineries. Here's a rough layout of where they're located:

Rather than paraphrase, I'll let Mike Ruppert again explain why these refineries are so important.

Fully 30% of all US refining capacity is in the target zone. Perhaps most importantly, almost every refinery capable of producing diesel fuel is in immediate danger. This promises (especially in the wake of Katrina) a devastating and irreplaceable shortage of the diesel fuel needed to power America’s harvest of grain and food crops this month and next. Without diesel fuel to power the harvesters and combines, crops may be left to rot in the ground presenting a double whammy: food shortages (with prices that may treble or quadruple) and export defaults negatively impacting the financial markets and trade deficit.

As for me, I'm heading out to WinCo tomorrow to load up on canned food, and eventually get some cheap bulk rice. Bicycle rack, don't fail me now! I hope you'll all consider having a bit of an emergency cellar of food. And fill your tanks now, before prices get crazy.

I'm not trying to sound Chicken Little here; I know it can feel that way at times, or that I tend toward the more morbid/pessimistic view of how things are going to unfold. Admittedly, I don't often post terribly happy things here. But the appearance of pessimism does not exclude possibility. The map as I'm reading it is just plain bad, no two ways about it. We've got to see world events honestly: shit happens, whether we hope against it or not.

We are not invincible.

And as Katrina has shown, our government sucks at helping us. What's more, this will not be the attacks of an invading army. You can't repel them and resume life. You can't rebuild after these things. They are the forces of nature -- hurricanes that hit where our way of life is softest, and a geology of oil depletion that is indifferent to human health and happiness. As such, even if the government were more competent in aiding us, the ultimate consequences of hurricane-exacerbated oil depletion/scarcity are beyond their control. Survival is up to us, and to God.

I hope against all this stuff -- I don't like the looks of this stuff any more than y'all do. My heart breaks at the thought of the suffering that this country and world seems to be heading towards. But our disapproval and dislike of these things must never lapse over into denial.

So if you can, build a resource cushion of food and water. And most importantly, keep your life's "Plan A" in an increasingly open hand -- I fear none of our Plan A's will be around for too much longer. And never, never forget what Christ said -- "I will be with you always, to the end of the ages." Nothing can separate us from his love -- not famine or war or death or anything else. Not even peak oil. ;)

The oil addiction behind the facade

2005-09-20T17:27:00.000-07:00

One of the great citizen heroes of our time, Michael Ruppert, had this to say today in commenting on a news article about Gulf Coast oil infrastructure.

Now we begin to see the difference between what the markets produce with Peak Oil and what the infrastructure damage and underlying shortages produce. All we have seen since Katrina is market manipulation based upon the decision by the President to open the Strategic Petroleum Reserve and the International Energy Agency’s opening of emergency stockpiles. Just like the response of FEMA and the fact that Dick Cheney was out protecting oil infrastructure during and after the storm, the true priorities of government become clear: Protect the markets. Save the infrastructure. The people can wait. As G. Edward Griffin has written recently, FEMA did exactly what it was supposed to do.

Neither the initial post-Katrina spikes nor the much-ballyhooed drops in crude prices since have anything to do with underlying reality. The underlying reality is not fully known yet but this first glimpse pretty much convinces me that the world will see $80 oil before the year is out. Natural gas futures have already topped $14 per thousand cubic feet. Experts are warning of possible 50% increases in heating oil prices and we will see blackouts and significant death from cold here this winter.

All those stockpiles that were released to ease Katrina shortages – which have by no means been fixed – will have to be replenished over and above other production in 2006. Production that was coming through the Gulf from Mexico, Venezuela and other sources has been diverted to other nations because it cannot be stored. The countries (e.g. Spain, Portugal and others) which got the excess windfall are unlikely to give it up if New Orleans ever gets rebuilt. And the beleaguered and disingenuous Saudis are coming under increasing fire as the only extra oil they offer is heavy-sour crude which is useless to most refineries. Saudi oil is now being rejected around the world and the Saudis continue to cut its price while finding few buyers.

The naïve continue to spin all this as just a refinery problem. But those who have been following Peak Oil understand full well that new refineries won’t be built in any quantity. Why? The return on investment to pay for that is ever-more-remote. This has been known for at least 15 years and it won’t change now.

Now, we all watch with baited breath as Rita heads for the western part of the oil patch, which Katrina missed. I stand by my assessment that the American Empire will never recover from the storms of 2005 to resemble anything that we are familiar with, even the unholy mess it had become after 9/11. – MCR

Hard to argue, unfortunately. Thoughts?

Accolades and adultery

2005-09-18T21:13:00.000-07:00

I felt great for so much of today, it's been great. I met with Dan Johnson, Imago Dei's lay facilitator of Renovo, their environmental ministry. We got along great, and I'm very excited to see where the ministry is heading. Big things ahead. Lots of settling in confirmation that that's where I'm supposed to be going for church, despite that I've only met with people there for more "business"-ish things like that. I look forward to diving in to a home community group so I have actual relationships there.

Then I got home, checked my voicemail and I got a call from Wild Oats, so I'm gonna be interviewed sometime soon for that, which would be great! It'd be an ideal part-time gig for me.

After good time with the Steves, I took a nap and then went to see Vibrant Covenant Church, which Troy and Steve W go to. A great church plant! So many great people there. But soon into it I felt weird for going. Very weird. I went honestly to see what this church was like that my esteemed friends speak so well of. And it really did live up to their talk.

But going in, I had a worry that "uh-oh, what if it is full of pretty girls!" I have a deep-seeded conviction against going to any faith community because of the "selection," if you take my meaning. And to be fair, just because there's a lot of cute folks of the opposite sex doesn't mean it's bad to go there. But if I find myself being attracted to the church considerably for that reason, I'll flee. That's why I stopped going to the Onyx House down in Eugene. It just didn't feel right.

So I go into Vibrant, and it's full of really cute girls. We're talking maybe a dozen guys, and at least 20 beautiful beautiful girls in their 20's. Holy freakin' Moses -- not good. What's worse, I really believe in the format they've got for church there -- great vision, amazing priorities. And their "Community Facilitator/Narrator" CV Hartline (yeah, freakin' rad name) is a stellar man. I knew if I hadn't already in my heart committed to Imago, I'd probably start going here.

So that weirdness in me, it was almost the feeling of lust. Not for any of the girls (well...), but it was for the presence of all of them. And/or, I felt like being sincerely attracted to going to Vibrant was in someway like cheating on Imago, or at least "casual church dating." And that's the last thing I want to do. And so all these bad ideas enter my head about how I could commit solidly to Imago, but go to Vibrant to find a girl, or something like that. What dreadful thoughts! I don't want to be doing anything like that, and I won't. I know God has someone out there for me, but where and when and who, I don't know.

But I know I'm supposed to be at Imago Dei, without question.

So that feeling of lust: I think it's like I just formally started dating Imago Dei, but God caught me flirting with Vibrant. And I can hear Him saying, "My son, don't you trust Me? I have special, amazing things for you in the places I've put you, and you saw those things this morning already being worked out. Please please please trust me, and I will provide."

I'm so glad He steps into our lives and is active in those ways. I don't know where I'd be without His voice.

Well, yes I do -- at Vibrant desperately (and poorly) hitting on girls. ;)

I'm not $hitting you.

2005-09-15T14:07:00.000-07:00

For all those interested in how to cut your water bill by 35%, check out the book "The Humanure Handbook," which chronicles the insanity of 1) crapping in drinking water, and 2) the tremendous loss of nutrients that could otherwise enrich farm soil. The book is available online for free here.

Those who think this is odd -- what do you think people did to relieve themselves before the 1890's? Often, they composted it. It's full of great stuff that the land needs to stay fertile! And again, as one person wrote the author, remember that "not even barbarians piss and shit in their drinking water."

You've got to give it to him -- he's got a point.

Relevant Magazine: To TV or Not to TV

2005-09-14T14:48:00.000-07:00

Katrina Clusterfudge Update 9/13/05

2005-09-13T14:17:00.000-07:00

My initial "Katrina Clusterfudge" post makes it sound like things are just going to go apecrap in less than three weeks from present. I should clarify that traditionally, demand for oil goes down globally between Labor Day and Thanksgiving Day, and then spikes from Thanksgiving and stays high throughout the winter.

So if prices fluctuate between now and the holidays, don't think I was "Chicken Little'ing." In fact we may see prices go down before Thanksgiving. Certainly not below $2.50 in Oregon, but I do expect marginally lower prices for the sustained period from now until the holidays.

Still, the wild card is what happens when we run out of that "emergency infusion" of oil I referenced in the initial post...

Another canary in the peak oil mineshaft bites it: Northwest and Delta to file bankruptcy within 24 hours

2005-09-13T14:14:00.000-07:00

One key reason for this is cited as increasing fuel costs. Because of the grade of petroleum that jets use, evidently the past year's increase in oil prices has been somewhat more considerable when translated into jet fuel costs.

As a point of reference, as of a year ago, jet fuel was roughly 25% of the costs of the major airliners.

I don't know if I can take it / I'm not easy on my knees / Here's my heart, let you take it / Feel some release release release / We need love & peace

2005-09-12T20:13:00.000-07:00

Every Monday night, the guys here have a football night thing with pizza and pop and whatnot, and they encourage all of us guys to be a part of it. I was out there for some of it. But I can't take being out there any longer.

I can hardly stand being around people who are so preoccupied with absolute bullshit. I'm serious now: they have been arguing about cars and sports off-and-on for nearly the whole first half of the game so far. And that is not a judgemental statement -- I know there are folks who can say "oh yeah well beer and gardening are more bullshit," and to an extent, yeah, that is part of having a hobby -- thinking it's better than other things to be interested in. I'll certainly concede that.

But seeing such rabid passion about things that are made purely for our consumption and someone else' profit is insane. It's consumerism. And seeing it among a bunch of Christians is borderline grotesque to my eyes. It gets to idolatry. To say nothing of the entire moral dilemma of the fact that thousands of people die to support how we live. Having heated debates over the stylizations of a Chevrolet dashboard while billions of persons live in abject poverty, without access to clean water or nutritious food, and without the comforts of the Spirit of Christ, is an outrage. It is downright fucked up.

*sigh*

And yet there is another side to all this. It's all about to pass, to go away for good. So it is really hard for me to bear being around folks who are so emotionally, personally, and, yes, spiritually invested in the American Dream. It isn't out of judgmentalism, out of a sense of "oh you are so superficial" (although I struggle with that impulse). My agony is pity -- it is that everything these men know anything about is, in the end, worthless and passing. It's all going to leave us soon, and everything they were promised in life is going to go away. How the hell does one see this and respond to it healthily? I have no idea how to respond. I have no idea how to encourage people to unplug from the Matrix and plug in to the Kingdom of God. I suppose it's love and relationship, and -- damn -- I think I just answered my own question.

Yet I digress: I don't think I have answered it. I still haven't heard from God or friends as to just what the appropriate response is for myself. How do I not become overtaken by these emotions. How do I stay a part of community in the midst of all this crap?? I feel like the church is in the stands at the Roman Colisseum, and I don't know where to go.

************

Thanks for listening, everyone.

I really miss Eugene.

King George and I have a talk

2005-09-12T09:56:00.000-07:00

I had a dream last night wherein I asked George W Bush why he thought it was a good idea to drill for oil in the Alaska National Wildlive Reserve. He smirked and eagerly said how Laura (Bush) had persuaded him on the issue.

In my dream I recall not wanting to directly bring up peak oil, but dance around it to make him either uncomfortable or else to spill the beans on it. After all, like it's been said before: this administration is addressing the correct issue (peak oil) in the most incorrect of ways (drilling in Alaska, invading Iraq & Afghanistan, the "Patriot" Act 1 & 2, etc.).

So all the while he's being a schmuck as I try to talk seriously and maturely with him. He's unable to give any serious answers, and it seems like most of them are almost reciting verbatim what someone else told him. "Well, Rumsfeld says that blahblahblah" George has the most imbecilic look in his eyes the whole time, and he seems tremendously confused, like a 6-year-old in a Fortune 500 Boardroom.

Finally I directly ask why we need to drill in Alaska. He says to make sure the companies aren't overproducing. What the hell that means, I still can't understand -- he said nearly the opposite of what would make sense. So I tell him they can't physically overproduce these days because they're at physical capacity.

George looks at me curiously.

I then proceed to try giving him the longer explanation of peak oil, starting with a more labored explanation of the geology of it. But he keeps getting distracted at everything. These two very unattractive teenagers come in the room and start making grotesque jokes and such, really weird stuff, and he's laughing at them. He thinks it's the funniest damn thing in the world. I'm frustrated: "George! Dammit, George, we were talking. Hey hey, this is important!" But he keeps guffawing at these perverted high-schoolers. So so weird.

Eventually time kinda stops, I see the situation for what it is, and I get up and leave.

Tissue Issue

2005-09-08T21:37:00.000-07:00

Every house I've lived in, it doesn't take long before I master being able to throw tissues from my chair or bed to my garbage can. Having allergies as I do, it only ever takes one springtime for me to be freakin' Larry Bird at it. Three-pointers every time!

Past few days, I've had a cold. So I'm working on this skill again, relearning. Most of them go in. But this is the first time I've ever thrown to the right, or as far as I am, so I still have a ways to go before I'm back at "pro" levels.

NO IDEA why I'm sharing this with you all. It's just one of those little quirks in life that make bring me odd glee. I suppose that's worth sharing, yes? Yes.

Falls Church News Press -- The Peak Oil Crisis: The Storms of August

2005-09-08T13:18:00.000-07:00

Another good analysis, this one from the Falls Church News Press. The FCNP is a small paper of a wealthy suburb outside Washington, DC, where many in the intelligence and military communities live. Not coincidentally, the FCNP has also been extremely and responsibly vocal about peak oil.

"What does the hurricane damage have to do with peak oil? World production and consumption are currently balanced at around 84 million barrels a day. Losing a million plus of this for an indefinite period certainly doesn't help increase production. This time, there is no sign of our Saudi friends coming to the rescue as in past oil crises. Given the decline of production taking place in most of the world's major oil fields, it is becoming increasing difficult to make a case for significantly higher levels of world oil production are on the horizon.

For the United States , borrowing our way out of the current predicament without any serious conservation measures (such as a 55 mph speed limit or rationing) certainly can't last long.

Several years ago Kenneth Deffeyes, one of the leading peak oil theorists, facetiously selected Thanksgiving 2005 as the exact date the world would reach Hubbert's peak. You know, it is starting to look as if he just might be right."

Peace vigil: 9/24

2005-09-07T15:19:00.000-07:00

All Portland folks: There's gonna be a peace vigil on September 24th (a Saturday) at 7:30pm on the Burnside, Morrison, and Hawthorne bridges. Call if you want to meet up for it.

Reminder: nearly 2000 dead American soldiers, 10,000++ wounded Americans, 50,000 dead Iraqis, 100,000 injured Iraqies, zero WMDs.

Not a fan of war? Come take a stand for peace and justice.

A fan of war? Come with me to church on Sunday, sheesh. ;)

Katrina Clusterfudge Update

2005-09-05T08:13:00.000-07:00

Tim Russert interviews Jefferson Parish President, Aaron Broussard
Aaron Broussard's comments from NBC's 'Meet the Press' transcript for 4 September 2005

MR. AARON BROUSSARD: We have been abandoned by our own country. Hurricane Katrina will go down in history as one of the worst storms ever to hit an American coast, but the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina will go down as one of the worst abandonments of Americans on American soil ever in U.S. history. I am personally asking our bipartisan congressional delegation here in Louisiana to immediately begin congressional hearings to find out just what happened here. Why did it happen? Who needs to be fired? And believe me, they need to be fired right away, because we still have weeks to go in this tragedy. We have months to go. We have years to go. And whoever is at the top of this totem pole, that totem pole needs to be chain-sawed off and we've got to start with some new leadership.

It's not just Katrina that caused all these deaths in New Orleans here. Bureaucracy has committed murder here in the greater New Orleans area, and bureaucracy has to stand trial before Congress now. ....

We had Wal-Mart deliver three trucks of water, trailer trucks of water. FEMA turned them back. They said we didn't need them. This was a week ago. FEMA--we had 1,000 gallons of diesel fuel on a Coast Guard vessel docked in my parish. The Coast Guard said, "Come get the fuel right away." When we got there with our trucks, they got a word. "FEMA says don't give you the fuel." Yesterday--yesterday--FEMA comes in and cuts all of our emergency communication lines. They cut them without notice. Our sheriff, Harry Lee, goes back in, he reconnects the line. He posts armed guards on our line and says, "No one is getting near these lines." Sheriff Harry Lee said that if America--American government would have responded like Wal-Mart has responded, we wouldn't be in this crisis.

Shady shady shady... I can't understand it, don't want to.

A blog that must be viewed and read is Rigorous Intuition. Very direct and sad realities on display there, with even more incisive commentary. If you're not angry, you're not paying attention, as the saying goes...

Special thanks to Mark Robinowitz' newsletter for the quote and link. I can forward the newsletter to anyone who wants it (not available yet on his site).

The Katrina Clusterfudge Countdown: 30 days

2005-09-02T23:44:00.000-07:00

According to CNN, the IEA is giving America 60M barrels of oil, to be rationed out at a rate of 2M barrels per day, for thirty days.

For context, America consumes roughly 20M barrels per day -- pre-Katrina. However, Katrina knocked out 1.5M b/d domestic pumping ability, to the point that it will take YEARS to get pumps back online. Then factor in strong damage to ports and pipelines (above ground and below water). America gets a huge portion of it's overall 20M b/d of oil from those ports and pipelines. I've heard overall it's in the range of 20-25%.

That, friends, is a hell of a lot of oil. Imagine losing 20-25% of your blood. What happens? Organ failures, you black out. The American economy -- the American Dream -- lost a lot of blood this week. Yet that economy is predicated on increases in "blood" every year just to keep it's fat-ass rolling, so sooner or later we'll need MORE than that 20-25% will bring us to.

Now, the IEA has been kind enough to give us a 30-day transfusion, but we don't know where that extra blood can come from beyond that date. Nobody else is able to give extra blood, simply because there is NO extra "spare blood" to give.

To switch back out of the metaphor, the world can't produce any more oil than there already is. We've lost swing capacity, globally. It used to be that if something like this happened, someone like Saudi Arabia would boost their production a bit to help out. And then, they had the physical capacity to do so. But they've admitted this week, they can't. No matter how hard they suck the stuff out of the ground -- no matter how much capital or technology or prayers to Allah -- they can't increase their rate of production. They are by definition at the peak/plateau of production.

So what happens after those 30 days? What happens when the lifeblood of our economy drops so severely?

Organ failures. Shock. Blackout.

Friendly request

2005-08-31T17:13:00.000-07:00

Hello beautiful people!

Lately, and much to my glee, I have been recieving many comments about my blog via email. I appreciate all comments, and hope more of you will join in and comment on what I have to say. If I'm way off base, kick me in the nuts for it. If I'm whistling the same tune that's going through yours, let me know! I'm always excited for more dialogue on my blog.

But that needs to happen on the blog itself. Emails are great, but I'd love to have them on the blogger site. You can do one of two things. First option is posting anonymously, as many people like Nastia do. All you have to do is end your message with a signature, right? Second option: create a blogger.com account, which is quick and easy. From there you can even start your VERY OWN BLOG! :) To all my pals doin' the Xanga thing (Kat, Chels, Meg, KBR, ...), I know you can do this. Quick and easy. Honest. :)

Thanks for the feedback, patience, and attendance. It means a lot to me.

Hugs and peace all around,
BDR

Lessons in Karma: Climate change-induced hurricane floods gas station

2005-08-31T12:25:00.000-07:00

I recall a Biblical parable about not building your house on sand... I wonder if there's one about not building your 400,000-person city below sea level in an area that's prone to enormous hurricanes. There totally should be.

Why This Matters: Katrina and Peak Oil

2005-08-29T20:52:00.000-07:00

Hopefully this link explains what I meant in my previous post, "Requiem for an American Dream."

Requiem for an American Dream

2005-08-29T14:29:00.000-07:00

Thunderclouds creep over the Rose City. The clamor of the titans rolls over a bustling city. Their terrible sounds come amid foreboding news of a rushing darkness.

The offended Earth, or the justice of the Lord, or cosmic karma, or the cruel inhospitalities of imperial entropy finally catching up with us -- whatever is afoot, it seems that today the repo man came in full force to America. Global climate collapse seems upon us -- those who study these things surmise that we can expect increasingly violent storms as it progresses. And here we are today: Hurricane Katrina has knocked out fully one third of American domestic oil supplies for at least a month, may have possibly severely damaged one of America's most important petroleum-importing ports, and has flooded much of New Orleans. Already gasoline prices have spiked by over a quarter in much of the country, and we haven't even gotten to see the damage to oil rigs, ports or refineries! One commentator today remarked that we could see $80/barrel oil by the end of the week. Can anyone say $4/gallon gasoline by Halloween? Today's "Perfect Shitstorm" may wind up being the inauguration of a new, increasingly calamitous and ferocious chapter in human history. Today may have been the beginning of the end of the American Dream.

May Jesus increase among us as this arrogant generation begins to painfully confront its own weakness. If today is the beginning of the end of cheap oil, may it also commence the beginning of the end of cheap spirituality. May we rest our identities and hurts and hopes and lives in the reality of Christ's kingdom, not the short-lived cellars of the American dream. May personal humility arrive before societal humiliation. May the days ahead be marked by the triumph of sacrificial cooperation and simple benevolence over snarling competition and Hobbesian clamor.

How to Dismantle an Abnormal Jesus

2005-08-29T09:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday at church, Rick continued his talks on the false images of Jesus that we have in our hearts. We think he's an accusor, a lawmaker, uninterested, angry... and having a poor understanding of the Lover of Our Souls is a tragic thing that breaks His heart, I think, and can keep our hearts broken. He's enthralled by us, and He's giddy to have our attention. ... ... ... "Oh - you - look - so - beautiful - tonight!"

They started out with a video that was absolutely hysterical, from some Pennsylvanian church. Y'all gotta see this -- it's at www.vintage21.com... from there click on media, click to the second page of it ("2") and download the third Jesus video. Freakin' awesome.

2005-08-27T01:57:00.000-07:00

Tonight, Mike the Landlord had a great cocktail party at his house about four blocks away, which was awesome. So many people around there! Bumped into my old high school worship leader, John Haidel, which was bizarre. I think I scared the runny shits out of him, to be honest. ;)

Then I wound up having quite a few drinks, cuz heck, they're free. Wasn't drunk, but certainly was watching my steps, if you take my meaning. Good times, great hummus, amazing beer, special company.

Went to Nastia's afterwards to chill and chat. She got a Swisher Sweet cigar, which I have ALWAYS loved being around.

Then I hung out with Adrienne, which was extraordinarily awesome. I haven't seen her, tragically, since high school. We solved several mysteries of the universe tonight, or at least she listened to my conclusions on them, heh. Adrienne, who I know is reading this, gets many bonus points for being able to take the red pill, and seemed to have digested the PO thing pretty well. (www.oiltruth.com, cuz I'm a whore)

But the seminal stupidass Brandon moment was when we were at the absurd cowboy bar that her friends had us all go to, and the DJ had this enormous denouemant for the troops in Iraq "protecting our freedoms" and "saving our way of life," and in fact he requested a 5 second moment of silence. Now, I have the utmost sympathy with those who have lost loved ones in Iraq. Their sacrifice is tragic and not to be disregarded. However, just because someone is a soldier for a country who has at times stood for good, doesn't mean their sacrifice was justified, or worthy of our fellatial praise of it. I mean, German soldiers in 1939 believed in what they were doing, and so did many of their parents. Apropos, supporting our troops doesn't mean abiding by every cultural mass-blowjob that we are "oblidged" to give them. Amidst empire, we can't just jerk off the guys that are enabling that empire or depression. That said, I did somethign that while I still feel right about it, was enormously dickheaded of me. I began yelling -- at a damn cowboy bar, no less -- "its about oil!" over and over again. I was half expecting someone to sock me for that, but nobody did (they were probably too drunk, or too busy chasing ass to notice). Yes in a sense I do regret belligerently yelling out in a way that reached no one, but I stand by the motives that were behind said dickheadedness -- a copious disrespect for the agents of empire and greed and Mammon.

Besides that it was a pretty frickin' rad night. Especial bonus points go to CJ, Kelly, Nas, and Adrienne, all for accomodating me and all my weird jerkness. ;) Seriously you all, you rock.

OK bed time. :)

The only thing that's real...

2005-08-25T08:52:00.000-07:00

I had a great long talk with Nastia for about two hours last night on the front porch, and we had a lot of good things to share regarding grieving, depression, hurt, aloneness, and generally all the mean people in life. I came away feeling better about where I'm at today -- this intermediate stage between the move and school/church kicking into gear, and getting to know the guys better. Now the angst and desolation feels more justified, I suppose. More than that, just being able to tell a friend in person about these things, rather than through AIM or email, is so much better.

And I had a wee epiphany, too. The two most important things I must confront is that I hurt, and I hurt. Yup. What I mean is, I feel hurt, and I also inflict it on others.

When I feel alone or betrayed or undignified or robbed or raped, my response to that hurt is invariably more important in shaping who I am and the level of abundance of life I have each day, than the actual occurrence which caused said hurt. I can sink into the wallows of it all without certain conclusion or denouemant. I can seek revenge. I can pour myself into meaninglessness to find meaning -- drugs, shopping, pornography, television, video games, alcohol, addiction generally. I can depend on friends like a bridge over troubled waters. I can bless and forgive those who wronged me. I can lay those hurts at the feet of Jesus and sob in his arms. Ultimately, I have radiant hope for anyone who is able to healthily cope.

And I have to fess up to the fact that I hurt people too. I am a bastard. And again, how I respond to my own bastardness is the more defining thing. If I don't realize that when I fail to send out thank-you letters, I am hurting those who have blessed me, I've got some proper responding to do. Repentance, humility, feeling hurt for incurring it. It doesn't mean we have zero self-esteem, that we refuse compliments (a problem of mine, say many trusted friends), or that we have sunken and sadly eyes. Not at all! We should be elated for the forgiveness of God and friends that we've hurt. And that grace should drive us to the higher heights of real personhood. (granted, we can't get past the foothills without the aide of friends and our Father). Instead of no self esteem, a healthy awareness of our own bastardness should free us from defining ourselves by it. It's like a fulfilled "tai-chi" or "yin-yang" symbol -- there is balance in us as we realize that yes we are defined by our bastardness, but the fullness of the equation, is found in the great graces of God and friends. It is completed in being able to relate to those we've hurt because, as the first "hurt" paragraph indicated, we've all been there, we've all been hurt tremendously. And identifying with those we've hurt is a powerful connecting point of experiencing the bittersweet fullness of the human condition (see I Heart Huckabees for more).

Blogger, my favorite pillow...

2005-08-24T23:01:00.000-07:00

I'm realizing I am in desperate need to find someone to continue to be spiritually vulnerable and intimate with. Not necessarily a mentor or whatever, though I'd love that. But someone where that's the norm -- being able to honestly say how we're relating to God these days. And I just haven't found there to be a lot of vulnerability here yet, or the guys willing to share their lives.

Ryan popped his head in my room a couple nights ago and said hey. I asked him how his day was and it startled him. Upon asking him why, he said he's just not used to being asked that. What a darn shame, I think, never to be asked how your day is.

But my sister wrote me today on IM and said she believes I'm here to perhaps in part bring about more of these things into this faith community. Cross pollination, no pun intended. I hope she's right. And I also hope God will give me the first steps in wherever I'm supposed to be going, already.

I look forward to what Imago Dei's home community has in store... the only one that is really in biking distance doesn't resume until the second week of September, so I'll continue to lean on God in the meantime, and expect the surprises He no doubt has in store for the meantime. (please be a girl, please be a girl...) And there is of course classes starting next week, which I wish to God were starting this week. I really don't want another week of feeling alone among so many friends. I'm ready to get out of this "do nothing" couple of weeks and have structure again. I don't know what affirming things I'll do in the meantime. I know I'm definitely not going to be reading in the books I have been, which while amazingly good and important books, are pretty damn depressing. I need hope and light and peace in my reading. I hope seminary will bring some of that...

I'll tell you what, though. Through all of this, I am thankful that crying can feel so good. Prior to the move I hadn't really cried in a long time. And I'm always bitterly looking forward to the next time I get to cry. And let me tell you, today has certainly had its share of lonely tears.

Pisswater into Barleywine and other revelations of late

2005-08-22T20:33:00.000-07:00

An amazing revelation recently happened around here. If you like good beer, but are usually content to buy macrobrews like PBR, try this:

Buy a bag of whole hops from a local homebrewing store. Next, put an individual hop flower into your mouth. Then take a swig off your favorite macropiss, hop still in mouth. Let the clearish, yellowy piss beer course over the hop flower, absorbing it's layered and palatable wonders. Before you know it, you have a grade-A IPA in your mouth for the price of PBR and a cheap bag o hops!

Friends, countrymen, beer lovers. This is truly a great day for poor beer affecionados everywhere!

Aloneness, homesickness, and the most beautiful pillow in the world

2005-08-21T21:03:00.000-07:00

This evening was bizarre. After brewing a beer with the Firpo twins, I retired to my room for a short bout of zoning out in front of a video game, and reading "Crossing the Rubicon." I realized going up here that no one was home, but by the time I'd stopped reading and gaming, it suddenly hit me "I am alone here." It felt very very odd. It's something I've really not felt in a couple years, to be honest. At least not in my own home. I resolved to take a nap, which ended about the time my cell phone rang. But since then, I've felt this sinking feeling of aloneness that I can't get away from. I know God is with me, and I don't feel scared.

But for the past many years, I've always had a neighbor to go be around if there wasn't a roommie around. That is, even if I didn't want to be around someone, I had the comfort of knowing it's there. And as some of you know, I'm not a very extroverted person. I'm quite okay with some alone time. Indeed, after every night for the past consecutive ten (I think) of having highly social times, I had been lamenting for some days already that I'm socially exhausted. I'd been around folks too much. I've loved it, but I needed some alone time. And now that I finally have it, "holy shit, where is everyone" grips my heart and head.

It feels odd not being able to go into Tommy's room and plop down on his bed while he's typing one of his emails, the dim and familiar tannish glow of Gladstone huing the walls. I don't like that I can't just lie down in a room with a roommate (yet) and be okay there. I feel like I ought to justify why I am sitting there. I know it's my own neurosis, but maybe it's the lack of a more proactive welcome from the guys here that has sunk estrangement (not loneliness, exactly) into me of late. Here, everybody seems to have something to do, something going on, that doesn't make room for other things. We're all adults here, now, and we fit into each others' lives when we can.

No, that sounds too harsh -- the guys here definitely love each other, and love me, a lot. But I hate this phase where I'm not fully "in" yet, not acclimated to this atmosphere.

I miss being able to say hi to Nate or Stef or Kat or Tom or Dave. As much as I miss these people, I'm more considerably bothered by missing the security of their presence and availability. I am homesick not for a place or even a group of people just yet, but for a context. I miss the social, spiritual context of easy-access humanity. I miss that setup where it was just as easy for us to be alone as it was for us to be with someone else. Cuz oftener than not, there'd always be someone who could use some cheering up or the presence of another person.

I miss being able to come home to someone who is interested in my day -- or at least tolerates my desire to talk about it. And they're perhaps enthusiastic about sharing their day. After Tommy got a job for this summer, we'd spend probably 5-35 minutes each day after he got home just hearing what is going on. And that's freaking awesome. And beautiful! And I'm realizing again just how enormous it is for me emotionally and spiritually.

When people talk about being ready for marriage at an early age, I'm often doubtful of it. Lots of people are. But it's times like this, where I realize how much I need someone who will always give a damn, someone who I can just be in the presence of and feel refreshed, when I begin to understand what longing really is. Increasingly this week I'm getting what it means to long or yearn for that amazing woman God wants me to spend my life with. It's not just horniness or giddiness or flirtsy butterflies. It's a deep-felt longing. But it's something I've not felt in a while.

True confessions -- Not so long ago, I would lay in bed on my side and whisper to the other pillow like it was my wife about how my day was, what I was afraid of, how beautiful she is, how glad I am she listened. Now I really haven't done that since, I dunno when. A long time. I just didn't feel that longing to be held and heard like I do now. And this week, I've found myself wanting again to tell the Pattie Pillow all these things. I don't know if this is good or bad or what it means; there's a part in Blue Like Jazz where Donald Miller confesses this same thing, and he says his friend told him it's just because he's horny. But that answer is so pat. I really feel like I am spiritually ready to find that someone to, in the quiets of the night, share my life with.

2005-08-19T16:54:00.000-07:00

Don't let anybody make you think God chose America as his divine messianic force to be - a sort of policeman of the whole world. God has a way of standing before the nations with justice and it seems I can hear God saying to America "You are too arrogant, and if you don't change your ways, I will rise up and break the backbone of your power, and I will place it in the hands of a nation that doesn't even know my name. Be still and know that I'm God. Men will beat their swords into plowshafts and their spears into pruning hooks, and nations shall not rise up against nations, neither shall they study war anymore." I don't know about you, I ain't going to study war anymore.

-- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Portlaaaaaaand!

2005-08-18T15:16:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm here. What a great week it's been already. I bought a sweet bike, have had some marvelous times with old friends, and am getting to know the T-House guys better every day.

Sad news about the T-House limo. Evidently, Phil wrecked it. Phil's okay, but he figured it'd be cheaper to fly to New York, pick up a limo there, and drive it across America back here! HAHAHA, I only met Phil when I visited here in May, and already I can tell he's gonna be a fun guy to get to know as things progress.

For those who don't know, I'm in the T-House, seven blocks north of Lloyd Center. Big community house that can hold up to ten guys. We've also got a guest bedroom. Currently there are I think six of us in the house, and in September it'll only be four. So any guys wanting to live in Portland in intentional Christian community, talk to me! :)

We're going to be having a big party on Saturday, August 27th. Starts early afternoon, I think, and continues on into the night. Evidently when Phil coordinates a party, he makes sure they kick arse! We'll be showing movies on the front lawn, and later on there'll be a great DJ blasting some good tunes. Everyone is invited, of course, but if you're from out of town, we don't have any extra capacity lodging available. Hope to see you here. Stop by any time after noon on August 27th and we'll have a blast.

Store Wars

2005-08-18T15:11:00.000-07:00

It's a hysterical video advocating organic produce. Two of the characters' names should sell you on it.

Cuke Skywalker and Darth Tater.

Farewell, Eugene

2005-08-15T07:15:00.000-07:00

Last night I began the long, emotionally challenging process of saying my goodbyes to everyone in Eugene. Not at all easy. So many amazing memories, so many dear friends, and so much incredible healing and changing by the hand of Jesus, often through many of you. I am truly and indisputably a better person because of my time in community. Suffice it to say, even if I may well see all of you fairly soon on visits, it was still very very very hard to leave this place, and have you as actual neighbor anymore. God, even saying goodbye to my garden was hard! ;) By the end of my door-to-door walk-around last night, I was a gooey pile of teary muck.

Two moments crystallized it all. Briefly and endearingly, as we took a final truckload of stuff down to the boys' new house, with Nate and Ethan and I in the truckbed, Nate and I both just had tears and snot rather silently pouring out of various facial orifices. He said, "Geez, you know, this is like the end of that damn Hobbit movie, ya know?" I had been feeling the same way.

On the truckride back, Ethan delivered one of his grander speeches, encouraging us not to feel sad, but glad. In these times we have all become brothers, bonded together in Christ's blood and love and life (OK those are my words, heh). We're no longer wholly Brandon or Nathan or Ethan. We're all significantly blurrier and more together. And so of course when one part of community is asked by God to depart, it is hard on the heart. But we mustn't ever regret it! We have tamed one another, he maintained, and are better for it.

What a splendid, splendid group of folks. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all so very much.

As Johnny Cash sang, "We'll meet again. Don't know how, don't know when. But I know we'll meet again, some sunny day!"

Holy crap...

2005-08-10T08:58:00.000-07:00

From an interview with Matt Simmons, the world's largest energy invenstment banker and adviser to Dick Cheney's 2001 energy task force....

MATT:So we have actually now created a pending domestic embargo, and we’re going to be lucky to get through the Summer without some periodic shortages. We probably will, but the odds are probably as high we will have some shortages, and then if we get through the Summer we have a fabulous respite from Labor Day to Thanksgiving, until we hunker to try to figure out how the world gets through the Winter of 2005 and 2006 because oil demand globally could easily go to 86-88 million bpd during the Winter, and that could easily exceed supply by 2-5 million bpd.

JIM: If that was to happen we would almost be looking at $75-80 oil, I suspect.

MATT: No, no, no. Oil prices could easily go up 5-10 times. ...

The rest of the interview is available here.

Two great articles, and good news

2005-08-09T20:43:00.000-07:00

First we have an amazing, brilliant article by William Clark about the complex economics of the petrodollar, peak oil, and the very strong possibility of war against Iran. It is available here.

Next is a very succinct, excellent story at 321Energy about what to expect for peak oil. Scroll down to the macroeconomics section for what is most refreshing and insightful.

Finally, the good news is that I just secured the sale of my pool table to my landlady's son for $475. A bit lower than I'd like, but I'm thrilled nonetheless! It's that much less that I have to carry around with me in life.

And extra finally, a friendly reminder that my graduation party is in my backyard this Saturday around noon or 1, and will go on into the afternoon. Y'all should come on by! :)

2005-08-07T22:23:00.000-07:00

This weekend was an absolute blast. Tommy, Jesse, Louis and I all went backpacking up to Tidbits Mountain, a crag jutting out from the middle of Willamette National Forest up to over 5000 feet. Nearly all sides of the top rocky parts are cliffs, and it is a real struggle to get to the top. Luckily the south face of the western pinnacle has a series of switchbacks to bring us closer. Still, it's a treacherously long climb, and the final bit is crawling hands-and-knees up what reminded all of us as being like "the one stair" to Cirith Ungol in "The Return of the King." Quite daunting, if only a pittance in difficulty, comparatively.

But the view! By God, the view! To the north Mt. Hood's south face glowed pink in the nascent sun. Mt. Jefferson was regal as can be imagined, with all the sharp contours of glaciation holding tender slumps of snow on its otherwise disarming slopes. Three Finger Jack was, as always, peculiar -- a spiny jagged thing mawing at the sky. Washington kept its own as the mighty pillar of rock that it is, bursting above its surroundings abruptly and distnictively. The Sisters, then, were also a sight; a 20% snow pack on a hot year left them bare and naked. So little snow; I was surprised to seee how relatively smooth they were, untainted by the sharp gauges and gashes of ancient glaciers' scouring flows. Finally Broken Top and Diamond Peak drew our scenic view of Oregon's geologic spine. We were blessed to see the sun set and rise from the top of Tidbits.

A flighty and swift raptor accompanied us in the rapidly-descending dark as we left from the sunset.

Our campsite was perched upon a sort of cliffy outcropping about a mile north around the valley. Louis set up a grand campfire and we enjoyed s'mores and soups, and fine company. A water shortage forced he and I to go back 3-4 miles on the trail to collect water from what he described as "a leak" on the hillside along the start of the trail. We got a gallon and two Nalgene bottles full and boiled them at camp to kill of the nasties like giardia. A good experience. Like some quest to run far off and secure potable water for the rest of us. Quite good fun.

Louis and I had some splendid conversations on the way to the water. I am increasingly convinced that he and Tom Marsh are quite alike. Both are very creative, and very insightful. I suppose the flipside of making art is seeing beauty and fault elsewhere with plain sight and accurate description. I like that about both of them tremendously.

At the end of it all, thank God for such fine folks and such a glorious bit of land, and the time and fortunate resources to experience it all together. :) And thank you to the men that came up there with me. It was a wonderful weekend that I very much needed.

Thesis and cell number

2005-08-03T09:03:00.000-07:00

Anyone who wants a copy of my thesis, I can email it to you upon request. It's done now. It's called "A Relevant Cause: Reconciling Environmentalists to Evangelicals."

Also, I got a cell phone on Monday. Anyone who wants the number but I have forgotten to send it to, just email or IM me for it.

Reflection and explanation

2005-08-03T09:00:00.000-07:00

In the past months, particularly since spring break, I have had many links posted here, and much personal commentary on the prospects of contemporary global resource wars, in lieu of peak oil. The endgame of endgames, as many have said all along, is a confrontation with China.

Yet I fear that many of my readers do not believe that this is the face of global geopolitics. The perception is that recent conflicts and future ones are not about resources -- look how much there is in the world, after all; why go to war for resources?

And I think there are other rationales or views which may cause some of you to dispute the idea of contemporary resouce wars. The two biggest are, I think, thus:

1) This is a war on terrorism. The White House has maneuvered itself for the past four years around stopping terrorists in their home countries.
or
2) Wouldn't it use more resources and more oil for the US to invade oil-holding countries, than for it to let it continue to be distributed by OPEC and/or the market? Surely the war machine burns more oil than what we're "winning."

The first point can be discussed at another time, or you can research it on your own. Amazon-search Michael Klare, or go to www.fromthewilderness.com for more on the certainty that resource wars are HERE, NOW, and will continue to be in our lifetime.

As to the second point, I've thought this all along as well. I think it is quite a valid thought. For the longest time, I couldn't figure out why they would do these things to get oil. But really, from the perspective of the neo-conservatives in power these days, it wouldn't even matter if the US got a net-loss of oil in these wars. What matters to them is that competing countries don't have the oil. What matters is that the Chinese and Russians (the only two countries that could seriously challenge us, and which yesterday happened to have practiced a joint military war game -- scary) don't get it. If ten years after peak, we've got more oil still pumping to us, than they do to them, we're on top. We have more power, we have a stronger economy: we win. Likewise, if we do in fact confront China for global control of oil resources, we will be the ones already sitting atop a relatively large sea of oil, even as it is diminishing.

Imagine the bell-curve of oil production as being the span of a wave on the ocean. These countries are all surfers swimming up as high as they can on the wave before it crests and begins to break. That cresting-and-breaking is global oil production peak. At that point we get up on the surfboards and ride the wave for as long as we can. In the time before peak, we're all scrambling to get as high on the wave -- get as much oil under our control -- as we can. Thus whoever is riding higher up will ultimately ride the wave out farthest and longest. We're all gonna crash in the surf and run out of wave/oil, but as that wave/oil diminishes, it is imperative to the neoconservative that their country ride it out the farthest. He who does this will have increasingly stronger world power in the post-carbon world.

I don't know if that is exactly how surfing works, but you get the metaphor, I think.

What matters in the neoconservative mindset isn't only that WE have it, it is that THEY don't. Oil going toward the United States doesn't really matter how it's being used, from a geostrategic view. That is oil that is not being used to fire the engines of Chinese industry or war-machines or tractors. It is energy they are not getting to use somehow, and so they are weaker for it.

So, resource wars aren't just to secure oil for us. By controlling countries and locales critical to oil production and transportation, we are able to also strangle and suffocate those countries also vying for world power. American Civil War buffs might recall the "Anaconda Plan" In that smoke-filled room, America will be the ones with just a bit of oxygen in our air tank. America might be wheezing like hell for that miniscule bit of oxygen left, but America's competitors will have suffocated moments before America does.

And I think those moments are what the neocons are hoping for. Those months or years where America can have some final say in the a collapsed world. In the greatest struggle in human history, we'll all lose, but America will have lost the least.

Yet to the neocons, as we all "lose" under peak oil, our relative victory isn't defined by our ability to survive mass starvation, or by our ability to sanely transition to a post-carbon world, or to shift toward sustainability. What matters is that we rode the wave longer than China or Russia, or Europe for that matter.

Of course, this is all fucking sick. It is psychotic and destructive and insane. But in the high circles of government and power, they don't see it that way. Americans in body-bags and Iraqis in the ground are necessary casualties in a broader campaign to surf the highest and lose least. To some of them, I think it is about making their mark in history. It is also about making post-carbon history a decidedly American history. It is about the first largely post-carbon centry become a New American Century.

The option of disarmament and peace will always remain on the table.

In lieu of this mindset, ask yourself, how would Jesus get ready for this kind of thing? Would he conduct a series of sequential wars to secure the last remaining oil fields on the planet? Would he sacrifice your children for fossil fuels? Or would he choose to live humbly on less and love his neighbors?

We are all the children of God, made in His image, and loved by Him. Let's stop going down this dark path of resource war, and start following a path of cooperatively surviving peak oil.

Holy crap!

2005-07-31T16:44:00.000-07:00

I'm graduating college in 13 days. Freakin' AAAAAAAAAAA! :)

Aloha!

2005-07-23T21:35:00.000-07:00

Today we went to Jim and Alisha Vernon's wedding. Well, technically they got married when they responsibly eloped in May. But the reception was today, I guess you could say. What a nice time it was! Lots of familiar faces, lots of new ones. Good food and good times. And I get so happy every time I go to a wedding... every one gets better and better! Oh I'm so sappy. :)

And in other news, at the end of it, I caught the thingy that Jim tossed that means I get married next. ;)

Oh yes. Oh. Yes.

Brandon update

2005-07-12T15:32:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, thought I'd give everyone an idea if they don't already of what I'm doing here pretty soon.

First, I'm 3/4ths done with my thesis, "A Relevant Cause: Reconciling the Environmental Movement to Evangelicals." I've written 38 pages, and am hoping to submit a rough draft to my supervisors by next Friday. It should be in the range of 48-52 pages, plus a possible postscript. I'll post the first chapter here, when it's all done, and if y'all like it I can send you individually the entire thesis via email or CD. I hope to have CDs at my graduation with copies of them on there, if it interests those who are there.

I'm reading "Crossing the Rubicon: The Decline of the American Empire at the End of the Age of Oil." It is a depressing, amazing, shocking read that is very well sourced and documented.

When I'm done with the thesis, I'm hoping to start a series of blog posts that will be about the Post-Carbon Church, and what that will look like. Hopefully at the end of it I can condense it into an essay to be submitted to Relevant Magazine. I will really be wanting involvement from you all, in the form of comments on those posts, so go ahead now and create your own Blogger.com account so you can post on them! It's safe and easy. And start thinking, how would churches change in mission, style, size, etc, if we no longer can afford to drive to church. I am very very excited about researching this one!! :)

My dear father is coming into town tomorrow, and I'll be spending most of then thru Sunday afternoon with him, having all sorts of adventures in Eugene. Yay! I've missed him.

My graduation is August 13th, a Saturday. There'll be a reception/party in my backyard around 1pm I think, and anyone who can come is invited. I'd love to see you there.

Finally, I'll be moving to Portland on August 15th, where I'll be living in the T-House, on NE 15th & Thompson. It's a men's intentional Christian community house that is flippin' awesome. I'll be attending Multnomah Biblical Seminary, pursuing probably a Master of Divinity. We'll see where God points me from there. I don't have a job lined up yet, but I hope to get a gig working at the Seminary, or else at a local microbrewery or garden store.

That's all for now, folks! Hugs and peace,
Brandon

P.S., oh yeah, I'm single. Dreadfully dreadfully single. ;)

GOP vet quits party: cites ecocrisis, debt, empire

2005-07-04T10:12:00.000-07:00

Read that link, folks! A very well-written and worthwhile read. I know a lot of my readers are Republicans, or at least lean to the right. And you all know well that I used to be one. I had a GWBush sign in my window in 2000, an American flag on my wall, and I still carry my NRA membership. But things have changed a lot. The party isn't what you think it is... it isn't what it was 10-20 years ago. Since the Reagan years things have gone totally ape-crap in the party, and the author of the article espouses very well and accurately just why he is leaving his party... He starts:

As of today, after 25 years, I am no longer a Republican.

I take this step with deep regret, and with a deep sense of betrayal.

I still believe in the vast power of markets to inspire ideas, motivate solutions and eliminate waste. I still believe in international vigilance and a strong defense, because this world will always be home to people who will avidly seek to take or destroy what we have built as a nation. I still believe in the protection of individuals and businesses from the influence and expense of an over-involved government. I still believe in the hand-in-hand concepts of separation of church and state and absolute freedom to worship, in the rights of the states to govern themselves without undo federal interference, and in the host of other things that defined me as a Republican.

My problem is this: I believe in principles and ideals which my party has systematically discarded in the last 10 years.

Read the rest here.

Downing Street Is For Liars

2005-07-02T10:04:00.000-07:00

A darn fine read.

Bush lied. People died.

Viva la revolution!

2005-06-30T13:35:00.000-07:00

I saw a beer in the store today that had a big stamp on the box that said:

BREWED IN THE REPUBLIC OF CASCADIA

I nearly shit myself. Holy crap. No laughing allowed, but I maybe almost welled up a tear or two in my eyes! It's so awesome!!! I was very enthused to see bioregional merchants showing their Cascadian identity like that! So so proud.

Interesting isn't it, how as the empire begins to crumble, and make it's last few power grabs, it's comcommitant with the merchant class awakening to their subjugation and proudly branding their products against the empire.

I love it.

ABC and FOXNews report: only applause for Bush speech was FAKED!

2005-06-29T10:34:00.000-07:00

The speech was in front of a group of soldiers

SNIP:
~~~

ABC's Terry Moran just reported that the only time Bush got applause was in the middle of his speech when a White House advance team member started clapping all on their own in order to cajole the soldiers into clapping, which they dutifully did.

~~~~
END SNIP

Shows you plainly the soldiers see it --- they don't buy Bush's shit for a second. The emperor has no clothes!

Mammon Sandwich

2005-06-28T14:09:00.000-07:00

In a recent email, my dear mother noted that I do indeed have a bit of cynisism in how I see the US gov't and church. And yeah, I do. So here's a slightly polished and expanded version of what I sent her, cuz I think it's bloggable. Enjoy! :)

~~~

Cynicism is still there, certainly, but it's much diminished. I'm talking realism here. No government is perfect because, yeah, all fall short. That's why I generally have trouble trusting or embracing "big" things, whether it's government, school, farming, church, or business. More potential for corruption, especially as the first three get into cahoots with the latter, whose job is to make money. Business' job, in today's economy, is to serve Mammon -- get rid of competition, produce the most for the least, let others clean the mess, and make it clear folks are unhappy without your product or service. That's a darn dangerous ideology, and I think it's worth looking more closely at what all those above institutions -- the church, farming, education, and government -- are like when they flirt with Mammon.

Churches and Christians (myself included!) do this by thinking big concerts, Christian T-shirts, and shrink-wrapping culture with Christianese will save people. Or maybe that this book or that sin issue is what will break Satan's chains.

Farming does it by ceding all work to the machine, and by using all kinds of grotesque inputs into the ground to get more food (more profit). So we're pouring petroleum products and industrial waste onto the ground to make more food now, at the expense of future generations' food security. It's all about the Mammon right NOW.

Schools do it by agreeing to sell name-brand food and soda in the cafeterias, getting Coca-Cola stadiums, Nike outfits, and for colleges they do research for corporations and defense corporations.

And of course government does it for a million reasons, and with a million results, including under this administration, letting energy corporation lawyers actually write the energy bills and energy regulations. Gross irresponsibilities like that.

That governments from Tut to Caesar to kings to Mussolini to Clinton cater to the success and whims of the economy's powerbrokers is no surprise, and largely irrefutable. And today we have a culture that bandies around serving the economy (and thus lining the pockets of the powerbrokers), and the church is somehow trying to shrinkwrap that with Christianese, all the while partnering with a political party that is utterly in cahoots with those powerbrokers whose businesses are propelled by many of the things we Christians don't believe in (materialism, greed, death, sickness, pornography, addiction).

So it's a horribly confused mess, and certainly it hasn't all been for bad. People have gotten saved at big whoopteedoo concerts and through ideas in our Christian books. Folks are getting great application of their education at schools that contract department labs out to corporate work. Farms are producing enormous crops. Government-corporate merging has given us a powerful economy.

But there's downsides, too.

Christianity has become trendy, and we've reduced the gospel from a way of life and a relationship, to a marketed product and a moral code. We're researching biowarfare and ballistics in our colleges, instead of how to prevent their use. We've got a food production system catered to machines, built up on the steriods of fossil fuels and fossil water, and ignorant of present side-effects or future crisis. And of course government has become fascist (corporate-state merging plus beligerent nationalism is the dictionary definition), and we are atop the world as history's largest empire.

When profit-minded mammon-service is fused into anything, and it is an infectously tempting ideology to fuse into things, we always see decline in things that really matter -- relationships, human health, land health (tilth), community, spirituality, peace, and meaningful eduation. Like King Midas, anything King Mammon touches dies.

You can worship God or Mammon. I choose Jesus. :)

The stupidest idea I have ever heard

2005-06-28T08:22:00.000-07:00

"Space Ring Could Shade Earth and Stop Global Warming"

Good jeez people! Who in their right mind could take it seriously? Nathan made the amusing comment that "What politician or scientist was smoking crack while playing Halo 2 and thought that one up!"

Frick, people. Oy.

;)

Peak Oil's End-Game

2005-06-27T08:40:00.000-07:00

(click link above to read more in the Washington Times)

China.

Either they secure the world's oil or we do. That's how today's leaders on both sides see it. We've tried to do it by invading Iraq and Afghanistan, and postured ourselves elsewhere around strategic oil supply and port sites. China, meanwhile, has secured oil deals with Canada, Venezuela, and others, and is now trying to purchase Unocal, a large and devillish American oil company.

So far it's been American big-stick versus Chinese big-dollar. Taiwan is the proxy flashpoint for the final showdown of who's going to end up after peak oil on top of most of the world's oil. And remember, if either America or China is out of the way, or severely diminished in it's petroleum demand, that makes peak farther out and somewhat more gradual.

~~~~~~~~

The Biblical prophet Isaiah says that in God's Kingdom, shovels and hoes will be made from beaten-down swords, and no one will study war anymore. Considering all this, in the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., "I don't know about you, but I ain't gonna study war no more!"

Fortress America -- annexing Canada and Mexico

2005-06-24T22:30:00.000-07:00

SNIP, with a few edits for clarity:
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On Capitol Hill, testimony calling for Americans to start thinking like citizens of North America and treat the U.S., Mexico and Canada like one big country.

ROBERT PASTOR, IND. TASK FORCE ON NORTH AMERICA: "The best way to secure the United States today is not at our two borders with Mexico and Canada, but at the borders of North America as a whole."

That's the view in a report called "Building a North American Community." It envisions a common border around the U.S., Mexico and Canada in just five years, a border pass for residents of the three countries, and a freer flow of goods and people.

PASTOR, Continued: "What we hope to accomplish by 2010 is a common external tariff which will mean that goods can move easily across the border. We want a common security perimeter around all of North America, so as to ease the travel of people within North America."

Good Lord they have to be joking, right? Jeez. I know it sounds wacky, but reflect on the past four years and think about it. If the corporate and government elites are money-hungry enough to use the CIA to smuggle drugs, then they're odd enough to start doing this sort of stuff.

UPDATE: Africa Debt - Cui Bono?

2005-06-24T22:22:00.000-07:00

According to the Guardian's George Monbiot, there is a big problem with the Africa debt absolvance. He writes

" You are waiting for me to say but, and I will not disappoint you. The but comes in paragraph 2 of the finance ministers' statement. To qualify for debt relief, developing countries must "tackle corruption, boost private-sector development" and eliminate "impediments to private investment, both domestic and foreign""

Crazy, eh? Read more on the link above.

I knew there was something more to this one. Then again, with the "leaders" we have now in the industrialized world, it's not like sniffing out rat in a deal that's too good to be true is that hard of a thing!

Update: Refineries capacity proves peak oil is here!

2005-06-20T13:11:00.000-07:00

"The fundamental problems with the conditions of the market are related to refinery capacity," Iran's OPEC governor Hossein Kazempour Ardebili said on Saturday."

Like I said last week:

Industry-made plateau = geology-made peak in production

The two necessarily coincide.

The people on Wall Street are crazy!

2005-06-18T13:08:00.000-07:00

So I've spent the midday Wikipidia-hopping, and I found this amazing article about:

The Business Plot or the The Plot Against FDR was a conspiracy against President Franklin D. Roosevelt by a group of millionaire businessmen, led by the Du Pont and J. P. Morgan empires. Alarmed by the President's plan to redistribute wealth from the rich to the poor, they plotted to overthrow Roosevelt with a military coup and install a fascist government. The businessmen tried to recruit General Smedley Butler, promising him an army of 500,000, unlimited financial backing and generous media spin control. The plot was foiled when Butler reported it to Congress.

There are some crazy bastards in the world. All things considered, and a cursory perusing of my posts earlier this week, of course testify that I'm by now not supposed to be shocked by this crap. But seriously! That is an amazing little story that I feel almost embarassed for not having heard by now.

If you really want to be pissed off, check this out, though. In the 1960's, the US government drafted a plot to shoot down a drone of an airliner or an actual airliner and blame it on Cuba. This shedding of American blood, or a facade of it, was to be the pretext or catalyzing event to propel American into a war for Cuba.

The US government does not have your interests at heart. They have their own ideology and their own interests, and they are sending people in my generation to actualize them.

Love and Peace (or else)

2005-06-17T00:55:00.000-07:00

From Charlie Chaplin's film, The Great Dictator, which mocks Adolph Hitler and ridicules and exposes fascism, nationalism, militarism, and racism for the evils they are.

At the end of the movie, a humble Jewish barber is confused with Hynkel, the Hitler-esque dictator. He is expected to give a huge speech to the troops and all of Europe, immediately following a successful invasion of a neighboring country. He is afraid to speak, not sure of what to say. He was just introduced as the next emperor of the world, for Pete's sake! He shuffles meekly up to the microphones, gazes over the audience, and pauses, reflecting perhaps on his loved ones, on his experiences of violence and oppression in the Jewish ghetto. He begins:

I don’t want to be an emperor. That’s not my business. I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible. Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another: human beings are like that. We want to live by each other’s happiness, not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone, and the good earth is rich, and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful.

But we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men’s souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goosstepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical. Our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities life will be violent, and all will be lost. The airplane and the radio have brought us together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men. Cries out for universal brotherhood, for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women and little children. Victims of the system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people.

To those who can hear me, I say do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men who will pass and dictators die. And the power they took from the people, will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish.

Soldiers, don’t give yourselves to brutes! Men who despise you, enslave you, who regiment your lives! Tell you what to do, what to think, or what to feel. Who drill you, [diet] you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder! Don’t’ give yourselves to these unnatural men! Machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines, you are not cattle, you are MEN! You have the love of humanity in your hearts. Do not hate, only the unloved hate. The unloved and the unnatural. Soldiers, don’t fight for slavery, fight for liberty!

In the seventeenth chapter of St. Luke, it is written: “The kingdom of God is within man.” Not one man, nor a group of men! But in all men! In you, you the people have the power! The power to create machines, the power to create happiness! You the people have the power to make this life free and beautiful. To make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy, let us use that power! Let us all unite! Let us fight for a new world, a decent world. That will give men a chance to work, that will give you the future, and old age as security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie: they do not fulfill that promise, they never will! Dictators free themselves, but they enslave the people! Now let us fight to fulfill that promise! Let us fight to free the world! To do away with national barriers, to do away with greed, with hatred and intolerance! A world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness. Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us all unite!

It is so painfully where we are at. In a world of gluttony, of industrial capitalism ravaging land and lives and liberty everywhere. Of a country sleepwalking into diseaster and unknowable agony, and the rich powerbrokers who are steering us there, even as they make a buck off of it. Of a corrupt government who no longer obeys the will of the people. In a world where there is a dangerous rise of a theology of war and empire in our churches, and in which patriotism is confused with militarism, and America with God's Kingdom. In a world where we swing to our music with Jesus 'round our necks, while 25,000 kids under five die every day from preventable causes.

But... in a world created by a just, loving God who cares deeply for it and every person, pious or perverse, on it. A God who will make the last first, and the first last. Who will humble kings and uplift the poor. A Lord who will bless the peacemakers. A God whose kingdom consists of beating weapons of war into shovels and hoes. A Kingdom which lives in the hearts of men in which war training ends, as Isaiah hopes, and in which the lions of the world can lay down with the lambs. In which community triumphs over banal greed and pride.

In this world of hurt, this now-dead comedian warms my heart. It gives me hope. He is the prophetic voice proclaiming that in the midst of the greatest clusterhurt the world had yet seen, in which there truly was a WORLD war, another way is possible. A world in which we get there together.

May the Lord and his Kingdom come through our lives and heal our out-of-control world now. May love and peace prevail. By God, may I have hope.